Everything is Possibility

"Consciousness chooses without any signals.  It chooses without interaction that represents an exchange of signals.  Consciousness is non local; it is everywhere and no where."1--- Dr. Amit Goswami

The material is ether.  What I think to be solid is not solid.  The world I see, the people in it, my perceptions, what happens to me is created by consciousness.

Journaling:

Here is a fun thing.  I like to flip through my previous journal entries.  I ask, "What information do I have for myself right now?"  Then I open any of my journals and read what I wrote.

Today this is what I found:

Abundance and the law of Detachment
As I let of of the need to arrange my life; the universe brings abundant good to me.
Om Anandham Namah=My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome. 

This expert comes from the 21 Day Chopra Challenge.  I took this as a sign, and I mediated for a while.  I used the centering thoughts and the mantra. 

I also worked on opening and strengthening my Chakras.  I opened each one and breathed into it.  I envisioned my chakras expanding and contracting with my breath.  Then, I imaged myself connected to the earth through my root chakra.  I saw a beam of light shoot through my crown and out my booty down into the earth.  i saw little flecks of sparkle dust bounce into my energy field.  Little pieces of dirt or rather chips and dark gunk began coming off my chakras.  It was as if the sparkles were cleaning my colors. 

Every since I learned that I am an empath and there are others like me, I feel stronger.  I don't feel crazy anymore.  I just have to learn to control it.  I have clean my energy and use a shield. 

When I lived in southern California, I unknowingly used a shield.  I used to imagine myself with a circle of love and protection around me.  I saw the beam of light going through my apartment complex.  When I moved to Stockton, I stopped using my talents, which I didn't realize I had, but I kind of knew if I am honest with myself. 

Everyday, whether I leave home or stay home, I must meditate to work on my chakras and strength my shield. 

sources:

1. "Dr Amit Goswami 'Consciousness, Quantum Physics and Being Human'," Interview by Iain McNay on Conscioustv.

Empathy

A new subscribe came to me.  She asked for my friendship.  I checked out her channel and watched some of her videos.  It lead me to a whole new group of videos about empathic people.  I causally clicked on one of the videos and it gave a description of an empathic person.  It was me.  I am totally tripping.  I cried a little. It was like that is it.  That is why I feel the way I do.  That is why I feel vibrations.  That is why?  I am not too sensitive.  I feel, and it is okay. 
I'm all weepy right now with the revelation. 

Last weekend, I came across this PhD program in the History of Consciousness at UC Santa Cruz.  I was intrigued by it.  Maybe Consciousness is something that I need to look into?

I am so filled with joy at how successful my students are at expanding their writing. 

End of Fall 2012

I am grading my last set of papers to return to my students for the last day of class.  They will create a portfolio of their work and write me a letter about their writing process for tomorrow-The Final Exam!  I will miss my students this has been a fantastic trip.  I've enjoyed every moment with this group.  They arranged a party for the final; I am bring my vegan fried rice, which means I have to get up at 3:30 am to make the rice let it cool, shower, pack, and hit the road.   

I am surprised that I have not had any email questions.  The second drafts of their persuasive papers were outstanding.  Some of the students' writing skills grew like tall strong trees.  I am so happy.  I truly feel that each one of my students are able to handle the next level of English.  I feel that each one of them will do well in their classes because they have learned to annotate their texts; relate, reflect, & respond (oh, snap--I just reinvented the 3R--Yoooooo) to texts; and to allow the creation of content without self-editor.  Yes, these are the things that I see in their work. 

Get Over It

It is a new day.  I still feel uneasy, but I must go with the flow.  Do you ever have those days when you wish you could reach out to another person for comfort?  I do.  I use to eat those feelings away.

Now,  just feel it.  The reason behind "allowing" rather than "suppressing" is if I allow myself to feel this pain, then I can release it.  I don't have to work to suppress it.  I can just let it go and move on to the next lesson.  Why bother with trying to figure out why a person behaves in a certain manner?  To do so is energy wasted in the past.  What another person does/says/lives/ is none of my business.  I will never know "why?;" he probably doesn't even know why he treated me in such a callous manner.  I forgive my boss, so I can move on to joy.

So, looking at the situation with work, I must ask myself, "Where is the good?"  "What is the lesson?"    

Gratitude

I am grateful to see.
I am grateful that I have the opportunity to teach writing.  I am grateful for my family.   
I am grateful to know that it is not a match.  I am grateful for the understanding and the knowledge.  I am grateful it hurt because I breathed through the pain.  I am grateful.

I am grateful to have the time to write about writing.
I am grateful to have the time to make videos about my life experience.
I am grateful to connect with other people.
I am grateful to be in nature.
I am grateful for the banana I ate today and the coffee I drank.
I am grateful that I learned to play the guitar.
I am grateful for the guitar.
I am grateful for music.  I am grateful for my life.  I am grateful to vibrate at this frequency.   
I am grateful.

Bonus--Happiness and Humanity: Day 22

I could not believe it when I check my email this morning and saw an extra bonus meditation. 

To the healing of the world today, I can contribute and open heart.  I remind myself to greet each person with love rather than fear. 

The meditation:
I was not focused for this meditation because it came so unexpectedly.  I meant to meditate today, but I was thrilled to see the additional guided meditation in my inbox this morning.  All day today has been a meditation in healing the world.
It was difficult for me to stay focused.  I kept thinking about: my students; the materials they need to be successful; grading their papers; how I can create my own critical-reading bookmark.  Then I finally brought myself to the mantra, "So Hum."  I breathed in the "So" and exhaled the "Hum."  I noticed the rise and fall of my belly.  I noticed how the mantra took on a musical quality.
My mind went back to my students, and the materials they need.  Finally, I quieted down again, and went back to the mantra.  The bell rang.

Living Abundantly: Day 21

It is the last day of the Chopra 21 Day Meditation Challenge.  These are the last messages for this challenge:
1. Centering Thought:  Every moment of everyday, I live my life abundantly.
2. Mantra:  So Hum (Sanskrit)= I Am (English).

Has meditation had any impact on my life?  I must answer that question with, "yes."  
I've turned my attention inward and have stop searching for "it" in the external world.  I've gotten into the daily practice of writing.  I have become more productive and yet I expend less energy.  My diet has improved.  I understand that it is carbohydrates that I crave.

I've learned more about the plant-based diet.  The universe sent me John McDougall's information on a high carb diet.  My weight is releasing and it seems like my body is going through some positive changes. 

Would I recommend meditation to others?
For sure, I recommend that everyone meditates.  It helps to quiet the mind, to allow thoughts to float by, and to connect to silence.

Will I continue to meditate?

Yes, I will continue to meditate.  At the beginning of this year, in January, I said this year is about manifesting, meditating, and music.  I am beginning to see that all those desires that I have or wants are already here.  I see that I am living the life that I want to live.  I am teaching writing at a community college to developmental writers; This is so awesome because I love going to work.  It is like a dream to have my job.  I am now writing, and I have the time to write.  The guitar has opened music up to me; I experience it on a deeper level--vibrational level. 

Living Luxury: Day 20

Had a great morning!  I made it to the gym.  Yes, I actually got my backside to the gym instead of  drinking coffee all morning then going for a walk.  I did two classes, zumba and yoga.  At certain points in the yoga (sun salutations), I began to let go; I felt the strength of my body.  There was flow to my movements and an ease with my breath this yoga practice.

My body is use to the movements because I have been practicing the yoga postures at home alone.  It is important to stretch because stretching maintains flexibility, strength, and balance.  These are all great physical qualities to have has one moves forward in age.

Please note that the mantra in the email for the Day 20 is Sat, chit, Ananda, but that is not the mantra on the guided meditation.  Below you will find the actual mantra in the practice of Living Luxury.

Chopra sent the following messages to us today:
1. Centering thought:  Today, I treat myself to moments of luxury.
2. Mantra: Om Varnum Namah (Sanskrit)=My life is in harmony with cosmic law (English).
 

Living Love: Day 19

I'm still full from Thanksgiving.  Today is a light day.  I did some yoga and a silent meditiation.  thne, I danced my butt off to the Smiths, Louder than Bombs.  It has been a long time since I just turned on some music and danced around. 

I am happy. 

Chopra sent the following information for us today:
1. Centering thought:  Today, I remember to love evrything and everyone I come in contact with.
2.  Mantra: Sat, Chit, Ananada (Sanskrit)=Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English). 

Living Unity: Day 18

Happy Thanksgiving! 

I called my mother up the first thing this morning to tell her how thankful I am that she is in my life.  Yeah!  I love my family!

For my brother, I created a delicious and mostly vegan meal.  He ate meat (chicken & macaroni).  All the sides were plant-based and animal free.  I should up load some of the photos tonight. I thin I will do that.

My mother came over with meat and a banana pudding for my brother.  She dropped it on the stairs.  She cried a little on the stairs.  I was about to start my meditation.  So, the sound of her cry really scared me.  My heart jumped, and began to pump in over time.  I quickly pulled the ear-bugs out of my ears, and I ran to the door.  I opened it.  There stood my Mom with her lips turned down and a squashed pound cake tin in her hand. The tin was filled with a rich yellowish custard, bananas, and vanilla wafers.  I recognized it immediately.  One of my childhood favorites. 

"I cannot do the stairs with my leg.  Take it," Ma sighed.  I took the squashed tin from her hand.  "Throw it in the garbage can.  I was trying to bring your brother some pie and meat."  She turns and walks down the stairs.  My brother goes after her.

So what was the pie about?
Ma was upset because my niece, Charrlie, did not come over for Thanksgiving after she confirmed she would come.  Ma was upset because she cooked this meal for Charrlie.

Chopra Sent the following for us to focus today:

1. Centering Thought:  I celebrate my unity with all life, knowing we are all one.
2. Manta:  Tat Tvam Asi (Sanskrit)=I see the other in myself and myself in the other.

How do I define Unity?

I define unity as one.  it is a coming together of two or more things into a one.  My definition of unity can be extended; it is also community and collaborative.  Unit can be the effort of many focused towards one objective.  But, I come back to one.  

Living Carefree: Day 17

Focusing on the thought that everything is as it should be and relaxing in that thought is the task for the day.  So far, the day is flowing.  I love it when I am in flow and everything works; I am not fighting anymore.  I don't mean physically fighting.  I mean fighting with life or struggling against the current.

Chopra sent these messages to us today: 
1. Centering thought:  I move through my days light-hearted and carefree, knowing all is well.
2. Mantra:  Sat, Chit, Ananda (Sanskrit)=Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English).

The question is, "How do you feel when you wake up?"
My response:
I can tell you how I felt today when I woke up; I cannot recall the general feeling of each day when I awake.  Lately, I have been feeling excited about the day.  This morning, I felt snugly and comfy.  It rained last night.  The room was the perfect temperature, and my bed was just cozy enough.  Both of my cats were in the bed with me.  Baby gently nestle next to the pillow at my head and Rafa laying by my legs almost wrapped in the blanket.
In my current state of mind, I feel like everything is going my way.  I am happy because I got the extra classes that I wanted, so I will have a full load next semester.

Guess the question from the response:
If I lived light-hearted and carefree, my life would improve because I will not second guess myself; I will seek my answers from within.  My life would improve because I will seek adventure by living light-hearted and carefree.  I would be the action rather than the passive spectator.  My life would improve because I will live without the constant fear of the unknown by living light-hearted and carefree.

Living Gratefully: Day 16

I was thinking about gratitude this morning.  Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away.
Chopra sent the this information for us to contemplate for the day and the meditation:
1. Centering thought: "Today, I remember to be grateful."

2. Mantra: Om Vardhanam Namah (Sanskrit)= I nourish the universe, and the universe nourishes me (English).

Here are my responses to the questions after the meditation today.  See if you can guess what the questions are from my answers. 

In my life I am most grateful for my family (I include my friends and animals in family). I am grateful for my mother who takes care of me when I cannot take care of myself.  I am grateful for my education.  I am grateful  for the time I have to do this 21 day meditation challenge.  I am grateful that I have a place to live.  I am grateful for my job, which allows me the opportunity to do what I love teach writing.     

Question 2:

My answer:  When I am in a state of gratitude, I feel joy.  I feel security.  I feel love. 

The Meditation:

At the beginning of the meditation I opened my eyes twice.    I focused on the mantra, and found myself relaxing deeper and deeper.  I concentrated my breathing in and out.  I went back to mantra and stayed with it until the bell.  I had a deeper meditation after I got over the initial fear.  When I feel overwhelmed, I open my eyes.  During this session, I just stuck with it.        

Living Sychrondestiny: Day 15

Just the title of today's meditation has me wondering, "What does Sychrodestiny" mean?  By looking at the parts of the word, I guess it to mean same time appointed.  In the email today, Deepak Chopra defines synchrodestiny as "harnessing the power of everyday coincidences to help you realize your long-held dreams."

Chopra sent this information for us:

1. Centering Thought: "As I live in present moment awareness, I live the magic of synchrodestiny."
2. Mantra: Aham Brahmasmi (Sanskrit)=The core of my being is the ultimate reality, the root and ground of the universe, the source of all that exists.

Meditation:

I don't want to share my meditation experience today.  It must not be spoken.

I will tell you that while I was out for a walk this morning, a breeze came over me as I was thinking about the unknown.  Images of familiar faces popped into my mind, I saw myself engaged with others.  When the breeze came it was like someone removed my hood because it came down.  It do not come down like a wind blew it off; my hood came down as if someone lifted it gently from around my head to see my face. 

I accepted the energy.  I'm still feeling it.  I must write in my personal journal about this so I can release it. 

Abundance and the Law of Dharma: Day 14

Chopra email the following for today's meditation:
1. Centering Thought:  "There is a way I can fulfill my true purpose in life."

2. Mantra:   Om Varunam Namah (Sanskrit)=My life is in harmony with cosmic law (English).

The question after the guided Chopra mediation asks, " How do you experiences joy in your present work?"  My response:
I experience joy when I wake up in the morning to go to work.  I am happy to go to work.  It is my dream to teach English at a community college.  I love being with my students talking about writing, talking about their papers, and talking about life.  I love when we get deep in conversation. 
It is joyful to hear students speaking to each other about their papers.  It is joyful when I see some one's eyes glimmer because they learned something new or figured something out.  It is joyful to be the person facilitating a person's growth as a writer.   

I can move closer to joyfully living my dharma by focusing my intention on writing.  I can put all of my energy into writing.  I can write about writing.  I can teach more.  I can collect data about writing.  I can survey my students to find ways to communicate my message of  mental liberation through writing.  I can read more books.  I can get more training teaching writing.  I can go to workshops.  I can pursue a PhD in rhetoric and composition.  To move closer to joyfully living my dharma I can love and accept writing.

During the Meditation:
I was not focused at all today.  i opened my eyes twice.  I lost he mantra, and I allowed my mind to wander; both times that happened I opened my eyes.
I feel like I have found my purpose.  I feel like I just have to live it more.  Maybe that is why I was so resistant to meditation today.  I was up around 6:00am and I waited until now almost 7:00pm to do the meditation.  I just did not want to meditate today. 
But, I am glad that I did.  I am staying the course.  

Abundance and the Law of Detachment: Day 13

Trusting in uncertainty is not one of the areas that I have a large amount of strength.  Until this meditation challenge, I have tried to control the outcomes of situations in my life.  I have tried to predict the future to the point of obsession.  I've praised luck for good outcomes and renounced luck with bad outcomes. 
Today as I drove to work, I thought about the mental work I did yesterday.  The bottle symbol that Chopra used represents the letting go of a message sent.  The bottle is out of one's control. 

I must do the same with the intention for my goal.  To practice this, I spent my time today focused on writing.  I let go of the other chatter in my mind and just focused on:

• writing
• teaching writing
• language
• the meaning of communication
• how do we form the abstractions--symbols, images, and sounds our minds into a string of assigned markers of representation?

Chopra's Message for today:

1. Centering thought: "As I let go of the need to arrange my life, the universe brings abundant good to me."
2. Mantra: Om Anandham Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome (English).

On of ideas that Chopra writes about is, "Detach from all expectation of outcome by allowing everyone and everything the freedom to be exactly as they are."  I was tripping on this statement because in the Starbucks (yes, I got coffee) this morning, I was talking to one of my students about accepting people as they are.  I said, "We can only do, and be what we are.  No more--no less."  I am in tune with the meditations. 

The Meditation:

A question after the Chopra guided meditation asks,  "how would they [the symbols of abundance] enhance my life and the lives of others?"  My response:

Books filled with my messages would enhance my life because it will be a relief to get this information out of my body.  It would enhance the lives of others because they can learn how to write.  They can learn how to express the wordless inside of their minds with other people--to send messages using words.  Others will learn how to communicate better, and find strength in defining their own realities rather than having their realities dictated to them by someone else.  My students will learn to speak and tell who they are if they so desire.  It is the emancipation of the mind for a better society.  It is taking responsibility for one's education and for one's life.  These are the ideas I will share with others while helping them improve their writing.  More books, filled with messages I've written, will enhance the lives of others because the books will teach people how to free themselves from animal products.  They will teach people that we do not need to consume animals to survive; we can use plants and thrive.  People will learn how to create a transitional plan, take action in executing the transitional plan, and cook vegan recipes.  People will learn not to kill and that will be good for all the creatures--all of the "others."

The home will enhance my life because it is an oasis where I write my books, create lesson plans, and design courses for "others" to learn.  Others will reap the benefits of my home because the work I create there gives people tools to help change their lives and liberate their minds through writing.

A job I love will benefit my psyche because I'll be happy to go.  It will give me money to travel, write, teach, see the world, and meet people.  A job I love will enhance other people's lives because my happiness will spread to them.

A fuel efficient truck would enhance my life because it would be fun to drive a truck.  I see myself going to festivals in it and selling kale chips.  kale is great for everybody, so the lives of others will be enhanced by the fuel efficient truck.  I'll grow my kale in my vegetable garden at my home where I create my books on writing & veganism, and work at a job I love.

How do I see wellbeing?
When I am practicing the guitar, I feel happy.  No, not happy.  I feel a release of energy when I play my guitar.  A release of pent up-explosive energy.  It feels good because I get to let it out--emotion.  When I am eating a good meal, I have the feeling of wellbeing.----

I am not answering the question here.  Why am I being evasive?  Do I even know what wellbeing means or even the emotion?

I imagine it as something a kin to happiness. something like okay.  Something like being content.  I imagine wellbeing to be maybe a little closer to love.  Does love equal happiness?  Yes, I believe so; I don't know it for sure.       

I envision the emotion of wellbeing as a normal everyday feeling in my life.  Wellbeing   

Abundance and the Law of Intention and Desire: Day 12

Intention is a big one.  I am thinking about my intention for wanting to teach.  At first I wanted to do it because it seemed respectable and a safe harbour from the storm.  But, what I am finding out is that teaching is not a safe harbour.  It is hard work pouring one's heart out.

Question: Why do I want to write?  My true intention behind that is a job--money. 
What about communicating a message? What about all that stuff I wrote about writing and messages the other day?  do I believe it?  No, I don't believe it.  I know writing is about messages an a transformative discipline for the individual because writing has helped me transform my own life.  At least, I am focused on what is in my mind, the nature of the world, and how we communicate with one another.   

Excerpts from my journals and notes

I just opened my journal up to any page, and this is what I found:

"September 30, 2012
You are not the thoughts.  You are not the thinker.  You are the awareness of the thought and the thinker.  The awareness is the silence.  This is God.  This is the space where you pay attention to the awareness.  When we get caught up in anxiety, worry, and regret, we are involved as the thinker and not the awareness."

I found a 3x5 note card in my journal.  On it, I have written the definition of intent
Intent-is a force in nature.  To clarify this, I added the following on the 3x5 note card:

• Relinquish need for approval
• Being Independent of the opinions of others
• Present Tense+Feeling+Intention=Manifesting

The Chopra Meditation:

The question I am answersing is "What steps have you taken to manifest that intention in your life?" (Chopra)

Here is my answer:

The steps I have taken to manifest my highest intention was to start taking care of myself.  I made a commitment to finish my education.  At 35, I went back to school and completed my bachelor's degree.  That is the time I fell in love with English.  I went to graduate school  and learned how to teach writing. 

I don't understand how what I just wrote responds to the question.  I am evading the answer, hiding in congenial talk. 

In truth, I have been busy pushing love away from me.  I have not done much to invite it into my life.  I've tried to ignore and pretend as though it doesn't exist while it is there.  I wish to let go and open up without fear.   Give up the control.  I have no control.  This would have to be the first time in my life that I actually seriously tried meditation, or taken the spiritual aspect of life as a knowing rahther than a believing.  So, the real answer is I have taken one step to manifest that intention by participating in the 21 day meditation challenge. 

how will my intention serve others?

This intention will help my family.  It will make sure that my brother has his freedom and is taken care of.  In the world, it will help others to improve their communication and understand the true power of language.  You can free your mind by learning to communicate your message, by seeing language not as some mystical "thing" that only a few can use, but as a tool.  It is a tool for communication that we all have the ability to use.  Language can help you define your reality, so you do not be come objectified by the subjectivity of others. 
My intention will also spread the word of compassion and teach people they do not need to eat animals or kill animals to survive.  We can live off plants.  No creature has suffer. 

The actual meditation:

I was into today session.  I wrote a little about the meditation topic and did the "wants" activity sent in the email. 

I quickly got into relaxation.  I was  concentrating on the mantra: "Om Ritam Namah" (it sounds like "return to me" in English).  My mind wandered on letting go and trusting.  Then I started to feel the pain in my chest.  It is more like a pressure on my chest and my throat.  I felt it.  I kept saying, "let it go. let it go."  Then, I thought why?  Why are you trying to surpress your feelings?  Feel it.  This is what life feels like.  I've been so busy trying to surpress the pressure/pain that I didn't realize that maybe it is not pain, but what life feels like, and it actually feels good.  A wave of energy overwhelmed me.  A heat and tingle sensation covered me.  I beame afraid.  I went back to the mantra to calm myself.  My heart was beating fast.  Suddenly, I just flet okay.   "Maybe this is what life feels like, and it feels good"--is a knew thought for me.  my breathing.  The bell rang.

Abundance and the Law of Least Effort: Day 11

For the 21 day meditation challenge, Chopra sent:
1. Centering thought: I expect and accept abundance to flow easily to me.

2. Mantra: Om Daksham Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions achieve maximal benefit with minimal effort.

I went to pick up my car and I was an asshole to the rent-a-car woman because I was being charged 5.27 for gas. 

One of the questions asks which areas would you like to experience more abundance.  The areas of my life that I would like to experience abundance are: romantic, financial, and social.  I wish for a loving partnership with a funny man; I really want to be abundant in that area.  Love is important.  If I am abundant financially and socially, but not in the intimate relationship section of my life, I will not be happy or abundant. 
Would I take the job or the man?  I'd like both.

The change I have to make to release my desire into universal consciousness is to shift my focus.  Instead of focusing on the fact that I lack, or that I am not in a loving relationship, I should focus on being in love.  Be what I want to attract. Be love rather than be lack of love if that makes any sense. 
Another change I have to make is to stop trying to control by searching outside of myself for answers, to stop trying to make it happen, to just go with the flow and let my life unfold. 
Another change I have to make is to let go of the fear. 

I started three times today to do the meditation, but for some reason each time I put the meditation off till later.  I wish I had done it early, but now is the time.  This is the path.
Today, I went quicker into relaxation mode, and focused most of the time on the mantra: Om Daksham Namah.  I forgotten the English translation, so I just focused on the Sanskrit. 
Thoughts popped into my mind, but each time I let them go.  I began to watch my breath for a time, then I went back to the mantra.  I was not afraid like I had been in the past.  Yesterday, I really freaked out.  Today, I just trusted.  The bell rang. 

Abundance and The Law of Karma: Day 10

The last few days I have been coming later and later to meditation.  It is my resistance to change.  I still do it.  So far the 21 day meditation challenge has had postive effects in my life.  I'm free of the addiction to TV.  My diet is moving in a high raw direction.  I have not had any wine, and I am getting to bed early.  I am actually sleeping instead of light sleeping. 

This is the Message that Chopra sent for Day 10:
1. Centering thought: Today, I make great choices, because they are made with full awareness.

2. Mantra: Om Kriyam Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions are aligned with cosmic law (English).

Decisioncs and Choices are the hot topic for the day.

This was another hard meditation for me.  I quickly became relaxed, but a wave of energy over came me and I became afraid.  I opened my eyes.  I closed them again, and found the mantra.  I realized I am in the right place, in the right state of being, doing the right thing--I felt overwhelmed by this, and felt a heatwave of energy flow over me.  I was afraid, and I opened my eyes.  I heard,"You are in the right place at the right time, Om Kriyam Namah" I went back tot he mantra.  I was there in a energized peaceful state, and I felt content.  The Bell rang. 

Many of decision I have made in my life have caused pain.  Some have put me in physical danger.  Some decisions have caused illness.
Within the last 7 years, I decided that I would work on my mind.  That was a good decision because I have learned to be in a state of continuous expansion.  The bad part was I expanded to such a state I could barely walk up and downstairs. 
When i graduated, I made a decision to care for both my body and mind.  I also realized that if I were to be a teacher, I have to clean up my life.  Let go of habits that no longer serve me.  Learn how to inspire others to reach their potential using writing as tool for communication.

I can become more aware of my choices by slowing down.  Use my journal and write about what is my perception of reality.  Then let it go.  I can decided my action only. 
I will practice placing my attention on my heart to see check my feelings when I have a question. 

Dulse--Sea Vegetable

I've been mad about sea vegetables.  Make sure you check Sea Vegetables out if you are planning on a vegan diet.  They are full of minerals that the body needs.  You can also use sea vegetables such as kombu to add flavor to vegan soups and bean dishes.

Abundance and the Law of Giving: Day 9

This is Chopra's centering thought  and the mantra for today:
1. "Today, and everyday, I give that which I want to receive."
2. Om Vardhanam Namah=I nourish the universe, and the universe nourishes me.

The meditation was hard for me today.  I became afraid because I thought I was flying out of my body.  I opened my eyes.  I sunk immediately back in my chair in front of my computer with my earbugs tucked.  I needed confirmation of my location because for a moment I did not know where I was.  I heard a voice say, "Do not be afraid.  You are loved."  My heart was racing--beating extremely fast.  I felt like my mind was going to be blown.  I kept hearing the voice, "do not be afraid. you are love." Calm came over me.

 I lost the mantra because I felt like I was fighting to stay in my body this meditation. 
My focus came upon my breath.  The inhalation and exhalation of each breath is what held me together.  I finally got the mantra back and the bell rang. 

Interesting, my life is starting to connect with the meditations.  At the car rental place, the customer service rep wanted to tell me about my insurance companies coverage. I cut him short because I knew all that, and it was not necessary.  He said, "I'm just trying to tell you your coverage." Then I stopped myself.
I apologized.  I told him I was sorry for cutting him off and being rude.  I told him I know that he wants to tell me my coverage.  It made him smile, and he told me about my insurance coverage.  The next thing  I knew I was driving off in a rental.  I don't know what came over me and why I said that.
The gift that I can offer, or I did offer to someone I met today was an apology.

Abundance and the Law of Pure Potientiality: Day 8

Chopra's  centering thought for today and meditation mantra:
1. Through the Law of Pure Potentiality, I can create anything, anytime, anywhere.
2. Om Bhavam Namah (Sankrit)=I am absolute existence. I am a field of all possibilities (English).
 

This is what happened in meditation today

 

I was in tune with the mediation today.  I went for a walk and communed with nature.  I also focused on my root chakra and releasing blocked energy.  Speaking of blocked energy, the Beet Juice worked.  I eliminated that backed waste from the junk food in the wee hours of the morning.  I feel so much lighter.  

While I was walking, I kept telling myself not to judge my life situation or anyone Else's.  Now, this all occurred before I actually read the email Chopra sent and did the meditation. 
When I read the email. I was in shock.  I thought, "there is something to this meditation stuff.  I actually see it working in my life." 

During the Chopra's guided mediation, I slipped quicker than I ever had in to a calm state of mind.  I found longer periods where I was without chatter and without chanting the mantra in my minds ear. 

 

A few times, I felt afraid or rather overwhelmed.  But, I did not lose the focus or the meditation; I kept my eyes closed and stayed in the space while I breathed and chanted, "Om Bhavam Namah." As I was chanting, I felt a presence around me-- when I felt overwhelmed.  it said, "You are a loved child; do not be afraid."  I could feel as though something was touching my chin, yet nothing was touching my chin.  I felt the need to raise my head an breath deeply. I could feel light coming towards me from the left side.  Then the bell rang, and I came back to presence of my body and released the mantra. 

 

Spontaneous Fullfillment of Desires: Day 7

Chopra's messages for today are:
1. I use my conscious intention to manifest my dreams.
2. Sat, Chit, Ananda(Sanskrit) =Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English).

A reflection the the week:  I have notice that I feel more peaceful and am in greater flow.  That sounds so hippie-dippie.  Now, I tell myself, "Don't judge it!"

I made a red beet and cucumber juice.  My body is backed up it needs to be un-stuffed.  The best way  I know how to detox is to drink fresh juiced red beets.  If you want a detox or an inside your body type of  cleaning drink the beet juice mixed with cucumber.  Cucumber is cooling and soothing and will help the waste removal easier on your body. 


I have not had beets in a while.  To tell the truth, I don't really like them.  I do however enjoy the earth taste that I get from them.   It is the taste of dirt, but not dry, harsh, barren dirt.  It is the taste of fertility.  Beets taste of the health and abundance of  the earth.  I can taste the life giving nutrients or the life force of the beets when I drink their juice. 

Usually when I buy beets to juice, I let them sit in the refrigerator, and forget about them.  I get lazy to juice.  It only takes a few minutes.  I decided today that when I buy the beets for juice, I  will juice them and drink the beets the day I purchase them. 

Yesterday after work, I got down with some vegan junk food.  Rice, Black Beans, Corn tortillas, Pico de Gallo, different types of salsas, Guacamole and Chips.  What I did not finish, I threw away because I did not want to eat that food today and if it were here I'd eat it.  I wanted to be raw today to cleanse myself. 

Now to meditation:
I found it easier to write about Beets than it was to write about meditation.  It is gettting easier to calm myself.  I just cannot write about it today. 

Seeds of Success: Day 6

Chopra sent the following information for our contemplation this morning:
1. Everything I desire is within me.
2. Ram . . . Ram . . . Ram (Sanskrit)= Everything I desire is within me (English).
 

It is 4:34pm on a late Saturday afternoon. I've been home for about 40 minuets. I wanted to do the meditation the first thing when I got home today.  Saturday is my favorite day of the week because it is my work day.  It is the day when I get to do what I want.  I get to talk about writing.  I get to help people with their writing.  I get be with others.  I love being with my students. 

Class ended early, it is the first time all semester that I let them go early in the later half of the day.  Usually, I make them grind it out--write. 

But, Everything is done.  Only the dire-hards and those who are trying to catch up stayed with me today.  Those whose work was complete were free to leave, and go work on the 2nd draft of their persuasive essay.  

Now back to Meditation
I am doing the meditation now because this morning I had to leave early to get to work.
I freaked out a little bit on this one.  I wonder why "Everything I desire is within me." blows my mind. 
After each meditation, Chopra has you answer a few questions.  i find it is best to do it right after the mediation is down, so you have the experience fresh in you remind.  It is more immediate than if you wait five minutes while you take a bathroom break.  I discovered somethings about myself.  What am I holding back from the world?  Share your natural gifts.   

I like the idea that success is being the answer to some one's prayer.  In other words, touch another person's life in a positive way--use your powers for good.  Communicate
 

The Field of All Possibilities: Day 5

This mornings centering thought and mantra from Chopra:
1. Today, I embrace my potential to be, do, and have whatever I can dream.
2. Sat, Chit, Ananda (Sanskrit)=Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English).

Started the morning off a little early.  Instead of turning the TV on, I turned the computer on.  Is the computer becoming the new TV?  new thing taking my attention away from writing. 


What do I do when I'm there?  There on the computer. 

I check the all my email accounts.  Hit the facebook.  Go to Youtube; take care of the comments.  I sit at my computer writing to my imaginary friend on the internet about my day, what I ate, how I maintained a vegan lifestyle, and meditation. 

I should be reading serious books about composition and writing articles.  I should be asking the hard questions about learning?  Whatever those questions are?  I should be thinking of new ways to incorporate collaborative learning into my practices. 

But instead, I am going over the chords to Randy Travis's "Forever, & Ever, Amen."  I look forward to playing my guitar.  I want to watch Marty throw down some tasty licks. 


Attention Reader this is a New thought.  I am transitioning to a new thought

I did the Chopra guided meditation.  It was pretty good.   Practicing these last five days has made me look forward to do the meditation.  I will meditate tonight before I go to bed. 

I'm really enjoying bedtime.  Before I turned the TV off, I used to set the TV timer to shut off while I dozed off to it.  That is pretty sad.  If that is not addicted I don't know what is?  I am consciously choosing to live my life instead of watching others live theirs.  I am consciously choosing deprogram and reprogram my mind. 

Primacy of Consciousness

Trip off this I found this video on consciousness.  Remember Pure Consciousness is the theme of the day.  The synchronicity moment of this whole thing is that Peter Russell begins with a quotation from Thomas Kuhn's text, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.  This is a part of the reading list for grad school.  I did not read it.  One of my instructors asked me about Kuhn's text, and I told him I didn't read it because of the red words.  In my mind, it looked hard.  Who knew that it was about consciousness? 

Now the same text pops up in a video during a 21 day Meditation Challenge on the day dedicated to Pure Consciousness.  The universe is telling me I need to get down with Thomas Kuhn's text, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

 

Pure Consciousness: Day 4

Chopra sent the following information to aid us in our meditation today:
Our centering thought for today is:
1. From this moment forward, I invite unlimited abundance into my life.
2. Aham Brahmasmi (Sanskrit) = The core of my being is the ultimate reality, the root and ground of the universe, the source of all that exists (English).

I cannot believe that I am sticking with thee meditation.  Each day it gets easier to go into the silence, and I've only been practicing 4 days.

During the guided meditation, I felt a surge of energy from my root chakra.  As you know, I am actively working to strengthen all of my charkras especially thee root.  The root chakra is the seat of creativity.  It is also sexual energy, which I have not used in 7 years.  I know I need strength here if I wish to write.  I ask the universe to allow a channel to open, so that an abundance of thoughts can flow through me in the form of words.  
 
I've been asking myself, "Where do I live?"  I've been living in scarcity.  I am coming to understand that is a mind set.  I can live in the space of abundance by first recognizing it around me.  I am blessed to have the life that  have.  When I think about, everything is easy for me.  I have shelter, food, and a vehicle.  I am surrounded by my family.  I am a loved child.  I sleep at night in the safety of my family's arms.  I just coming to realize that.  I've spent most of  my life trying to get away from them.  Blaming them for my problems.  No--it is my family that holds me up.  It is my family that gives me strength to walk each day.  This is abundance.  I am grateful

Kundalini Meditation

I wrote this on November 5, 2012.

Just did a guide Kundalini Meditation, I feel very clam.  My legs, hands, and arms feel relaxed.  My neck feels tight,which is my communication chakra.  My heart chakra feels heavy.  I have pain there, but that makes sense because I know that my heart chakra is very weak. 

At the part of meditation where it has the meditator imagine (or realize the energy) the heat rising from the root chakra filling the whole body, I actually felt heat rising in my body.  The top of my lip began to sweat a little bit.

Images:  I saw a snake.  I saw a snake wit its fangs and black eyes.  Its mouth was open, but it was  hissing at me.  It just was.  I did not fear the Snake, or wish it away. 

I get the message--and it is heavy magic.  It is transmutation. 

I also thought about how I have not used my creative energy since I moved to Stockton.  I thought about how I want to act.  I want to perform.  I thought about how I've given up on that. 

I thought about how I want to be in a loving relationship with a man.  I wish that this time of loneliness was over.  I also accept it if being alone is my path. 

Mind, Matter, Spirit: Day 3

The focusing words that Chopra sent this morning are:

1. "Today, I focus on what I want to attract into my life."
2. Sat, Chit, Ananda (Sanskrit) = Existence, Consciousness, Bliss

This meditation should be easy for me because I know what I want to attract in my life. 
1.  A loving partnership with a funny man.
2.  A home with a vegetable garden and fruit trees.
3.  A tenure track teaching position at a community college near my mother.

I did Chopra's guided meditation at 10:00 am this morning.  My mind raced all over the place.  I've been doing additional meditations during the day for this challenge.   10 minutes is not enough time for me.  I just get my body settled down.   

Is it that easy to just ask and you shall receive?  I wish to attract these three situations into my life.  I am putting it out into the ethers, which is the Internet to me.  Normally, I write in my journal, my book that I hold my thoughts in.  I was thinking what if the journal, which is for my eyes only, keeps my wishes and does not release them into the universe. 

If I truly believe in vibration, then the Internet is a vibration.  It is a suppository for the human mind, for our ideas.  The Internet is a means or a mode of connecting to each other.  It is a means of sending messages; therefore, I am sending a message to the universe through the Internet. 

I want to return to this idea of vibration.  While driving south on the 99 freeway, I came to an interchange where the 99 meets the 120.  From the first time I encountered this interchange, I felt queasy as I drove through this spot as if I would pass out.  This one particular day, it occurred to me that I was driving through a highly charged vibrational zone.  I can feel vibration. 

Follow me.  I hear music.  I feel music.  When I play my guitar, I feel the vibration emanating from the guitars body following into mine.  I cannot see this vibration, but I know it exist because I can feel it.  Each note on the guitar as a different vibrational pattern.  Why cannot places and people have different vibrational patterns? 

Source of Abundance: Day 2

Here are the two ideas that Chopra sent this morning:
I create my personal abundance from an infinite source.

Aham Brahmasmi (Sanskrit).  The core of my being is the ultimate reality, the root and ground of the universe, the source of all that exists (English).

I did the guided meditation with Chopra this morning at 8:30.  I do feel relaxed.  I'm still on the coffee.  I'm not going to stress about it.  I am doing a lot of work with my mind the next 21 days:  breaking the addiction of television and focusing the mind. 


It is 2:51pm, and surprisingly, I feel good.  The sun felt great on my body as I walked the path next to the Calabasas river.  In my mind's ear, "Hey Good Looking" by Hank Williams played.  I thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to play that song." 

As I came to the crossing for the river, the older woman who always wears shades and sun-visor appeared.  I've never seen her on that side of the crossing; she normally walks by the freeway over pass.  We talked.  She was happy to see me.  Then, and man with a handlebar mustache road up on his bike and said, "Hey Good Looking." to the older woman. 

I replied, "And you're suppose to say 'what you got cooking.'"  The three of us laughed.  Is that a coincidence that this man spoke the words of the song I was hearing in my mind.  

Music was the meditation for most of the day.  When I start thinking to hard about playing my guitar, I lose it.   When I just play and feel the vibration of my guitar's body against mine that is when I find the rhythm.  Breath has a lot to do with playing. 

Just an observation. 

Behold the Abdudance that Surrounds: Day 1

Today is the first day of the Chopra 21 day meditation challenge.  I checked my email to see the information that he has for all of those who are participating.   He gave us two thoughts for the day:
1.  "Today, I behold all the abundance that surrounds me."
2.  The mantra:  So Hum (Sanskrit); I am (English).

I've been up for about an hour.  I reminded myself of the plan,which is no booze, no TV, and no coffee.  I will eat a high raw vegan diet on this meditation challenge.  So far, I made myself some coffee.  I haven't drank it yet, but I plan to indulge. I am reminding myself that it is a practice not perfection.  The goal is to be free of the chemicals.  right now, this is my "I am"

After I meditate, I will come back and let you know how it is going.    

It's 11:59 am.  I made it through the morning without the television.  I played on the computer and practiced my music. When I looked at my email, a youtuber sent me a message about caffeine and artificial stimulants.  That must be a sign from the heavens above that it is time to let the drugs go.  yes, caffeine is a drug if you did not know that.   

It's 1:38pm, and I got the first meditation in.  I don't know how long it was because I did not time, but I hazard a guess at about 15 minutes.  My mind was racing.  I brought my attention back to my breathing--the up and down movements of my tummy. 

I had a slight sexual fantasy, but I guess that is good.  My root chakra is weak, so it must have gotten activated whilst I was meditating. 

Meditation Challenge.

Monday, November 5, 2012  three things are happening:

1.  Commitment to meditation with the 21 day Deepak Chopra Challenge.  I will share all the emails and information I learn.
2. Giving up the white wine.  It is the last alcohol that I've been drinking, and it is foggying me up.  when I drink, I am useless.
3.  Commitment to writing.  I am afraid to write, so I have to write.

Which means--I will be back blogging here.  I think it is time for some real honesty.  It is time for me to be honest with myself if I want to change my life and move to the next level.  I had a chakra reading and all of my chakras are weak except for my crown.  so at least I know that I have strong connection with the universe/God/the force--whatever you want to call it. 

I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog, which is probably why I will post here.  Get it out!

Life is a Basket of Cherries

I know you have heard the cliche, "Life is a bowl of cherries."  Well I'm here to tell you "Life is a basket of cherries."  You can carry more in a basket than in a bowl.

You want a super food?  Eat Cherries. 
They have a higher concentration of antioxindants and vitamin than blueberries.

You want to stay young?  Eat Cherries.  They help slow down the aging process.  Researchers haves hown thaat cherries contain melatonin, which is the key antioxindant that slows the aging process and regulates sleep. 

Radish Shoots the New Sprout

One of the best finds I've discovered since becoming vegan is spouts.  I first dabbled in the alfalfa sprouts.  These are the most common sprout, and also the sprout that most people have tried at least once. 
Then I moved on to the clover sprouts.  My world changed after I tasted clover.  Before the clover, I ate sprouts if they were there, but I never sought them out.  After the clover, I made a regular trip to the sprout and micro greens section of the store in search of any type of sprout I could find. 
Clover sprouts have a crisp freshness that alfa sprouts lack.  Clover leaves are a little larger, and the stems are much thicker.  I love to eat clover and avocado sandwhiches.  I also like clover in my maki rolls. 
 

One day while I was shopping, I noticed that all the alfalfa and clover sprouts where gone.  What the *&^%!!!!  I kept staring at the sprout section when my eyes saw these skinny stalks with big green leaves in a blue pouch-bag.  I picked up the skinny stalks.  I looked at the package.  I read the package, "Radish Shoots."  I read it again, but this time with feeling, "RADISH SHOOTS."  I sniffed the package, so I could get an idea of what radish shoots taste like.  They look like big , fat, yemmu, clover sprouts.  I noticed people staring at me as I sniffed the blue pouch-bag.  I felt embarrassed.  I put the shoots in my cart, and I walked away.
 
The first thing I did when I got home was open that bag of RADISH SHOOTS.  It was a science experiment.  It looked as if they were growing from some tightly bound coil of roots.  I kind of got freaked out.  RADISH SHOOTS are alive!! They Live!!!
 
I ate them.
 
RADISH SHOOTS are delicious!  They have a fresh peppery taste.  They are spicy!

Now, I cannot get RADISH SHOOTS at the store anymore.  I guess I was the only one eating them.