Abundance and the Law of Dharma: Day 14

Chopra email the following for today's meditation:
1. Centering Thought:  "There is a way I can fulfill my true purpose in life."

2. Mantra:   Om Varunam Namah (Sanskrit)=My life is in harmony with cosmic law (English).

The question after the guided Chopra mediation asks, " How do you experiences joy in your present work?"  My response:
I experience joy when I wake up in the morning to go to work.  I am happy to go to work.  It is my dream to teach English at a community college.  I love being with my students talking about writing, talking about their papers, and talking about life.  I love when we get deep in conversation. 
It is joyful to hear students speaking to each other about their papers.  It is joyful when I see some one's eyes glimmer because they learned something new or figured something out.  It is joyful to be the person facilitating a person's growth as a writer.   

I can move closer to joyfully living my dharma by focusing my intention on writing.  I can put all of my energy into writing.  I can write about writing.  I can teach more.  I can collect data about writing.  I can survey my students to find ways to communicate my message of  mental liberation through writing.  I can read more books.  I can get more training teaching writing.  I can go to workshops.  I can pursue a PhD in rhetoric and composition.  To move closer to joyfully living my dharma I can love and accept writing.

During the Meditation:
I was not focused at all today.  i opened my eyes twice.  I lost he mantra, and I allowed my mind to wander; both times that happened I opened my eyes.
I feel like I have found my purpose.  I feel like I just have to live it more.  Maybe that is why I was so resistant to meditation today.  I was up around 6:00am and I waited until now almost 7:00pm to do the meditation.  I just did not want to meditate today. 
But, I am glad that I did.  I am staying the course.  

Abundance and the Law of Detachment: Day 13

Trusting in uncertainty is not one of the areas that I have a large amount of strength.  Until this meditation challenge, I have tried to control the outcomes of situations in my life.  I have tried to predict the future to the point of obsession.  I've praised luck for good outcomes and renounced luck with bad outcomes. 
Today as I drove to work, I thought about the mental work I did yesterday.  The bottle symbol that Chopra used represents the letting go of a message sent.  The bottle is out of one's control. 

I must do the same with the intention for my goal.  To practice this, I spent my time today focused on writing.  I let go of the other chatter in my mind and just focused on:

• writing
• teaching writing
• language
• the meaning of communication
• how do we form the abstractions--symbols, images, and sounds our minds into a string of assigned markers of representation?

Chopra's Message for today:

1. Centering thought: "As I let go of the need to arrange my life, the universe brings abundant good to me."
2. Mantra: Om Anandham Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome (English).

On of ideas that Chopra writes about is, "Detach from all expectation of outcome by allowing everyone and everything the freedom to be exactly as they are."  I was tripping on this statement because in the Starbucks (yes, I got coffee) this morning, I was talking to one of my students about accepting people as they are.  I said, "We can only do, and be what we are.  No more--no less."  I am in tune with the meditations. 

The Meditation:

A question after the Chopra guided meditation asks,  "how would they [the symbols of abundance] enhance my life and the lives of others?"  My response:

Books filled with my messages would enhance my life because it will be a relief to get this information out of my body.  It would enhance the lives of others because they can learn how to write.  They can learn how to express the wordless inside of their minds with other people--to send messages using words.  Others will learn how to communicate better, and find strength in defining their own realities rather than having their realities dictated to them by someone else.  My students will learn to speak and tell who they are if they so desire.  It is the emancipation of the mind for a better society.  It is taking responsibility for one's education and for one's life.  These are the ideas I will share with others while helping them improve their writing.  More books, filled with messages I've written, will enhance the lives of others because the books will teach people how to free themselves from animal products.  They will teach people that we do not need to consume animals to survive; we can use plants and thrive.  People will learn how to create a transitional plan, take action in executing the transitional plan, and cook vegan recipes.  People will learn not to kill and that will be good for all the creatures--all of the "others."

The home will enhance my life because it is an oasis where I write my books, create lesson plans, and design courses for "others" to learn.  Others will reap the benefits of my home because the work I create there gives people tools to help change their lives and liberate their minds through writing.

A job I love will benefit my psyche because I'll be happy to go.  It will give me money to travel, write, teach, see the world, and meet people.  A job I love will enhance other people's lives because my happiness will spread to them.

A fuel efficient truck would enhance my life because it would be fun to drive a truck.  I see myself going to festivals in it and selling kale chips.  kale is great for everybody, so the lives of others will be enhanced by the fuel efficient truck.  I'll grow my kale in my vegetable garden at my home where I create my books on writing & veganism, and work at a job I love.

How do I see wellbeing?
When I am practicing the guitar, I feel happy.  No, not happy.  I feel a release of energy when I play my guitar.  A release of pent up-explosive energy.  It feels good because I get to let it out--emotion.  When I am eating a good meal, I have the feeling of wellbeing.----

I am not answering the question here.  Why am I being evasive?  Do I even know what wellbeing means or even the emotion?

I imagine it as something a kin to happiness. something like okay.  Something like being content.  I imagine wellbeing to be maybe a little closer to love.  Does love equal happiness?  Yes, I believe so; I don't know it for sure.       

I envision the emotion of wellbeing as a normal everyday feeling in my life.  Wellbeing   

Abundance and the Law of Intention and Desire: Day 12

Intention is a big one.  I am thinking about my intention for wanting to teach.  At first I wanted to do it because it seemed respectable and a safe harbour from the storm.  But, what I am finding out is that teaching is not a safe harbour.  It is hard work pouring one's heart out.

Question: Why do I want to write?  My true intention behind that is a job--money. 
What about communicating a message? What about all that stuff I wrote about writing and messages the other day?  do I believe it?  No, I don't believe it.  I know writing is about messages an a transformative discipline for the individual because writing has helped me transform my own life.  At least, I am focused on what is in my mind, the nature of the world, and how we communicate with one another.   

Excerpts from my journals and notes

I just opened my journal up to any page, and this is what I found:

"September 30, 2012
You are not the thoughts.  You are not the thinker.  You are the awareness of the thought and the thinker.  The awareness is the silence.  This is God.  This is the space where you pay attention to the awareness.  When we get caught up in anxiety, worry, and regret, we are involved as the thinker and not the awareness."

I found a 3x5 note card in my journal.  On it, I have written the definition of intent
Intent-is a force in nature.  To clarify this, I added the following on the 3x5 note card:

• Relinquish need for approval
• Being Independent of the opinions of others
• Present Tense+Feeling+Intention=Manifesting

The Chopra Meditation:

The question I am answersing is "What steps have you taken to manifest that intention in your life?" (Chopra)

Here is my answer:

The steps I have taken to manifest my highest intention was to start taking care of myself.  I made a commitment to finish my education.  At 35, I went back to school and completed my bachelor's degree.  That is the time I fell in love with English.  I went to graduate school  and learned how to teach writing. 

I don't understand how what I just wrote responds to the question.  I am evading the answer, hiding in congenial talk. 

In truth, I have been busy pushing love away from me.  I have not done much to invite it into my life.  I've tried to ignore and pretend as though it doesn't exist while it is there.  I wish to let go and open up without fear.   Give up the control.  I have no control.  This would have to be the first time in my life that I actually seriously tried meditation, or taken the spiritual aspect of life as a knowing rahther than a believing.  So, the real answer is I have taken one step to manifest that intention by participating in the 21 day meditation challenge. 

how will my intention serve others?

This intention will help my family.  It will make sure that my brother has his freedom and is taken care of.  In the world, it will help others to improve their communication and understand the true power of language.  You can free your mind by learning to communicate your message, by seeing language not as some mystical "thing" that only a few can use, but as a tool.  It is a tool for communication that we all have the ability to use.  Language can help you define your reality, so you do not be come objectified by the subjectivity of others. 
My intention will also spread the word of compassion and teach people they do not need to eat animals or kill animals to survive.  We can live off plants.  No creature has suffer. 

The actual meditation:

I was into today session.  I wrote a little about the meditation topic and did the "wants" activity sent in the email. 

I quickly got into relaxation.  I was  concentrating on the mantra: "Om Ritam Namah" (it sounds like "return to me" in English).  My mind wandered on letting go and trusting.  Then I started to feel the pain in my chest.  It is more like a pressure on my chest and my throat.  I felt it.  I kept saying, "let it go. let it go."  Then, I thought why?  Why are you trying to surpress your feelings?  Feel it.  This is what life feels like.  I've been so busy trying to surpress the pressure/pain that I didn't realize that maybe it is not pain, but what life feels like, and it actually feels good.  A wave of energy overwhelmed me.  A heat and tingle sensation covered me.  I beame afraid.  I went back to the mantra to calm myself.  My heart was beating fast.  Suddenly, I just flet okay.   "Maybe this is what life feels like, and it feels good"--is a knew thought for me.  my breathing.  The bell rang.

Abundance and the Law of Least Effort: Day 11

For the 21 day meditation challenge, Chopra sent:
1. Centering thought: I expect and accept abundance to flow easily to me.

2. Mantra: Om Daksham Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions achieve maximal benefit with minimal effort.

I went to pick up my car and I was an asshole to the rent-a-car woman because I was being charged 5.27 for gas. 

One of the questions asks which areas would you like to experience more abundance.  The areas of my life that I would like to experience abundance are: romantic, financial, and social.  I wish for a loving partnership with a funny man; I really want to be abundant in that area.  Love is important.  If I am abundant financially and socially, but not in the intimate relationship section of my life, I will not be happy or abundant. 
Would I take the job or the man?  I'd like both.

The change I have to make to release my desire into universal consciousness is to shift my focus.  Instead of focusing on the fact that I lack, or that I am not in a loving relationship, I should focus on being in love.  Be what I want to attract. Be love rather than be lack of love if that makes any sense. 
Another change I have to make is to stop trying to control by searching outside of myself for answers, to stop trying to make it happen, to just go with the flow and let my life unfold. 
Another change I have to make is to let go of the fear. 

I started three times today to do the meditation, but for some reason each time I put the meditation off till later.  I wish I had done it early, but now is the time.  This is the path.
Today, I went quicker into relaxation mode, and focused most of the time on the mantra: Om Daksham Namah.  I forgotten the English translation, so I just focused on the Sanskrit. 
Thoughts popped into my mind, but each time I let them go.  I began to watch my breath for a time, then I went back to the mantra.  I was not afraid like I had been in the past.  Yesterday, I really freaked out.  Today, I just trusted.  The bell rang. 

Abundance and The Law of Karma: Day 10

The last few days I have been coming later and later to meditation.  It is my resistance to change.  I still do it.  So far the 21 day meditation challenge has had postive effects in my life.  I'm free of the addiction to TV.  My diet is moving in a high raw direction.  I have not had any wine, and I am getting to bed early.  I am actually sleeping instead of light sleeping. 

This is the Message that Chopra sent for Day 10:
1. Centering thought: Today, I make great choices, because they are made with full awareness.

2. Mantra: Om Kriyam Namah (Sanskrit)=My actions are aligned with cosmic law (English).

Decisioncs and Choices are the hot topic for the day.

This was another hard meditation for me.  I quickly became relaxed, but a wave of energy over came me and I became afraid.  I opened my eyes.  I closed them again, and found the mantra.  I realized I am in the right place, in the right state of being, doing the right thing--I felt overwhelmed by this, and felt a heatwave of energy flow over me.  I was afraid, and I opened my eyes.  I heard,"You are in the right place at the right time, Om Kriyam Namah" I went back tot he mantra.  I was there in a energized peaceful state, and I felt content.  The Bell rang. 

Many of decision I have made in my life have caused pain.  Some have put me in physical danger.  Some decisions have caused illness.
Within the last 7 years, I decided that I would work on my mind.  That was a good decision because I have learned to be in a state of continuous expansion.  The bad part was I expanded to such a state I could barely walk up and downstairs. 
When i graduated, I made a decision to care for both my body and mind.  I also realized that if I were to be a teacher, I have to clean up my life.  Let go of habits that no longer serve me.  Learn how to inspire others to reach their potential using writing as tool for communication.

I can become more aware of my choices by slowing down.  Use my journal and write about what is my perception of reality.  Then let it go.  I can decided my action only. 
I will practice placing my attention on my heart to see check my feelings when I have a question. 

Dulse--Sea Vegetable

I've been mad about sea vegetables.  Make sure you check Sea Vegetables out if you are planning on a vegan diet.  They are full of minerals that the body needs.  You can also use sea vegetables such as kombu to add flavor to vegan soups and bean dishes.

Abundance and the Law of Giving: Day 9

This is Chopra's centering thought  and the mantra for today:
1. "Today, and everyday, I give that which I want to receive."
2. Om Vardhanam Namah=I nourish the universe, and the universe nourishes me.

The meditation was hard for me today.  I became afraid because I thought I was flying out of my body.  I opened my eyes.  I sunk immediately back in my chair in front of my computer with my earbugs tucked.  I needed confirmation of my location because for a moment I did not know where I was.  I heard a voice say, "Do not be afraid.  You are loved."  My heart was racing--beating extremely fast.  I felt like my mind was going to be blown.  I kept hearing the voice, "do not be afraid. you are love." Calm came over me.

 I lost the mantra because I felt like I was fighting to stay in my body this meditation. 
My focus came upon my breath.  The inhalation and exhalation of each breath is what held me together.  I finally got the mantra back and the bell rang. 

Interesting, my life is starting to connect with the meditations.  At the car rental place, the customer service rep wanted to tell me about my insurance companies coverage. I cut him short because I knew all that, and it was not necessary.  He said, "I'm just trying to tell you your coverage." Then I stopped myself.
I apologized.  I told him I was sorry for cutting him off and being rude.  I told him I know that he wants to tell me my coverage.  It made him smile, and he told me about my insurance coverage.  The next thing  I knew I was driving off in a rental.  I don't know what came over me and why I said that.
The gift that I can offer, or I did offer to someone I met today was an apology.

Abundance and the Law of Pure Potientiality: Day 8

Chopra's  centering thought for today and meditation mantra:
1. Through the Law of Pure Potentiality, I can create anything, anytime, anywhere.
2. Om Bhavam Namah (Sankrit)=I am absolute existence. I am a field of all possibilities (English).
 

This is what happened in meditation today

 

I was in tune with the mediation today.  I went for a walk and communed with nature.  I also focused on my root chakra and releasing blocked energy.  Speaking of blocked energy, the Beet Juice worked.  I eliminated that backed waste from the junk food in the wee hours of the morning.  I feel so much lighter.  

While I was walking, I kept telling myself not to judge my life situation or anyone Else's.  Now, this all occurred before I actually read the email Chopra sent and did the meditation. 
When I read the email. I was in shock.  I thought, "there is something to this meditation stuff.  I actually see it working in my life." 

During the Chopra's guided mediation, I slipped quicker than I ever had in to a calm state of mind.  I found longer periods where I was without chatter and without chanting the mantra in my minds ear. 

 

A few times, I felt afraid or rather overwhelmed.  But, I did not lose the focus or the meditation; I kept my eyes closed and stayed in the space while I breathed and chanted, "Om Bhavam Namah." As I was chanting, I felt a presence around me-- when I felt overwhelmed.  it said, "You are a loved child; do not be afraid."  I could feel as though something was touching my chin, yet nothing was touching my chin.  I felt the need to raise my head an breath deeply. I could feel light coming towards me from the left side.  Then the bell rang, and I came back to presence of my body and released the mantra. 

 

Spontaneous Fullfillment of Desires: Day 7

Chopra's messages for today are:
1. I use my conscious intention to manifest my dreams.
2. Sat, Chit, Ananda(Sanskrit) =Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English).

A reflection the the week:  I have notice that I feel more peaceful and am in greater flow.  That sounds so hippie-dippie.  Now, I tell myself, "Don't judge it!"

I made a red beet and cucumber juice.  My body is backed up it needs to be un-stuffed.  The best way  I know how to detox is to drink fresh juiced red beets.  If you want a detox or an inside your body type of  cleaning drink the beet juice mixed with cucumber.  Cucumber is cooling and soothing and will help the waste removal easier on your body. 


I have not had beets in a while.  To tell the truth, I don't really like them.  I do however enjoy the earth taste that I get from them.   It is the taste of dirt, but not dry, harsh, barren dirt.  It is the taste of fertility.  Beets taste of the health and abundance of  the earth.  I can taste the life giving nutrients or the life force of the beets when I drink their juice. 

Usually when I buy beets to juice, I let them sit in the refrigerator, and forget about them.  I get lazy to juice.  It only takes a few minutes.  I decided today that when I buy the beets for juice, I  will juice them and drink the beets the day I purchase them. 

Yesterday after work, I got down with some vegan junk food.  Rice, Black Beans, Corn tortillas, Pico de Gallo, different types of salsas, Guacamole and Chips.  What I did not finish, I threw away because I did not want to eat that food today and if it were here I'd eat it.  I wanted to be raw today to cleanse myself. 

Now to meditation:
I found it easier to write about Beets than it was to write about meditation.  It is gettting easier to calm myself.  I just cannot write about it today. 

Seeds of Success: Day 6

Chopra sent the following information for our contemplation this morning:
1. Everything I desire is within me.
2. Ram . . . Ram . . . Ram (Sanskrit)= Everything I desire is within me (English).
 

It is 4:34pm on a late Saturday afternoon. I've been home for about 40 minuets. I wanted to do the meditation the first thing when I got home today.  Saturday is my favorite day of the week because it is my work day.  It is the day when I get to do what I want.  I get to talk about writing.  I get to help people with their writing.  I get be with others.  I love being with my students. 

Class ended early, it is the first time all semester that I let them go early in the later half of the day.  Usually, I make them grind it out--write. 

But, Everything is done.  Only the dire-hards and those who are trying to catch up stayed with me today.  Those whose work was complete were free to leave, and go work on the 2nd draft of their persuasive essay.  

Now back to Meditation
I am doing the meditation now because this morning I had to leave early to get to work.
I freaked out a little bit on this one.  I wonder why "Everything I desire is within me." blows my mind. 
After each meditation, Chopra has you answer a few questions.  i find it is best to do it right after the mediation is down, so you have the experience fresh in you remind.  It is more immediate than if you wait five minutes while you take a bathroom break.  I discovered somethings about myself.  What am I holding back from the world?  Share your natural gifts.   

I like the idea that success is being the answer to some one's prayer.  In other words, touch another person's life in a positive way--use your powers for good.  Communicate
 

The Field of All Possibilities: Day 5

This mornings centering thought and mantra from Chopra:
1. Today, I embrace my potential to be, do, and have whatever I can dream.
2. Sat, Chit, Ananda (Sanskrit)=Existence, Consciousness, Bliss (English).

Started the morning off a little early.  Instead of turning the TV on, I turned the computer on.  Is the computer becoming the new TV?  new thing taking my attention away from writing. 


What do I do when I'm there?  There on the computer. 

I check the all my email accounts.  Hit the facebook.  Go to Youtube; take care of the comments.  I sit at my computer writing to my imaginary friend on the internet about my day, what I ate, how I maintained a vegan lifestyle, and meditation. 

I should be reading serious books about composition and writing articles.  I should be asking the hard questions about learning?  Whatever those questions are?  I should be thinking of new ways to incorporate collaborative learning into my practices. 

But instead, I am going over the chords to Randy Travis's "Forever, & Ever, Amen."  I look forward to playing my guitar.  I want to watch Marty throw down some tasty licks. 


Attention Reader this is a New thought.  I am transitioning to a new thought

I did the Chopra guided meditation.  It was pretty good.   Practicing these last five days has made me look forward to do the meditation.  I will meditate tonight before I go to bed. 

I'm really enjoying bedtime.  Before I turned the TV off, I used to set the TV timer to shut off while I dozed off to it.  That is pretty sad.  If that is not addicted I don't know what is?  I am consciously choosing to live my life instead of watching others live theirs.  I am consciously choosing deprogram and reprogram my mind. 

Primacy of Consciousness

Trip off this I found this video on consciousness.  Remember Pure Consciousness is the theme of the day.  The synchronicity moment of this whole thing is that Peter Russell begins with a quotation from Thomas Kuhn's text, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.  This is a part of the reading list for grad school.  I did not read it.  One of my instructors asked me about Kuhn's text, and I told him I didn't read it because of the red words.  In my mind, it looked hard.  Who knew that it was about consciousness? 

Now the same text pops up in a video during a 21 day Meditation Challenge on the day dedicated to Pure Consciousness.  The universe is telling me I need to get down with Thomas Kuhn's text, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

 

Pure Consciousness: Day 4

Chopra sent the following information to aid us in our meditation today:
Our centering thought for today is:
1. From this moment forward, I invite unlimited abundance into my life.
2. Aham Brahmasmi (Sanskrit) = The core of my being is the ultimate reality, the root and ground of the universe, the source of all that exists (English).

I cannot believe that I am sticking with thee meditation.  Each day it gets easier to go into the silence, and I've only been practicing 4 days.

During the guided meditation, I felt a surge of energy from my root chakra.  As you know, I am actively working to strengthen all of my charkras especially thee root.  The root chakra is the seat of creativity.  It is also sexual energy, which I have not used in 7 years.  I know I need strength here if I wish to write.  I ask the universe to allow a channel to open, so that an abundance of thoughts can flow through me in the form of words.  
 
I've been asking myself, "Where do I live?"  I've been living in scarcity.  I am coming to understand that is a mind set.  I can live in the space of abundance by first recognizing it around me.  I am blessed to have the life that  have.  When I think about, everything is easy for me.  I have shelter, food, and a vehicle.  I am surrounded by my family.  I am a loved child.  I sleep at night in the safety of my family's arms.  I just coming to realize that.  I've spent most of  my life trying to get away from them.  Blaming them for my problems.  No--it is my family that holds me up.  It is my family that gives me strength to walk each day.  This is abundance.  I am grateful

Kundalini Meditation

I wrote this on November 5, 2012.

Just did a guide Kundalini Meditation, I feel very clam.  My legs, hands, and arms feel relaxed.  My neck feels tight,which is my communication chakra.  My heart chakra feels heavy.  I have pain there, but that makes sense because I know that my heart chakra is very weak. 

At the part of meditation where it has the meditator imagine (or realize the energy) the heat rising from the root chakra filling the whole body, I actually felt heat rising in my body.  The top of my lip began to sweat a little bit.

Images:  I saw a snake.  I saw a snake wit its fangs and black eyes.  Its mouth was open, but it was  hissing at me.  It just was.  I did not fear the Snake, or wish it away. 

I get the message--and it is heavy magic.  It is transmutation. 

I also thought about how I have not used my creative energy since I moved to Stockton.  I thought about how I want to act.  I want to perform.  I thought about how I've given up on that. 

I thought about how I want to be in a loving relationship with a man.  I wish that this time of loneliness was over.  I also accept it if being alone is my path.