Aphrodite Open My Fourth Chakra

I have been advised to send a prayer to the Goddess Aphrodite to help open my throat chakra.  When I think about communication, I do not think of the Goddess of Love.  I think of Athena; she is the brain babe.  But, I will try it because I want to let the words fly out of my mouth.  I wish that writing wasn't like pulling teeth for me.  I wish writing was something that I look forward to doing.  Actually, I have mixed emotions about writing.  I love it and hate it at the same time. 

Since I am on this juice fast, I might as well give a prayer a try.  Who knows?  It might work.

Hear My Prayer Aphrodite:
Lift the masculine energy suppressing my voice.
Give the strength to speak my truth
Give me the courage to write my truth
Open my fourth chakra
Blue healing, bright, circular emanates from my throat
The pain in my throat is gone
Speech is what remains
The words flow

Sun Dried Tomatoes

My friend Dawn, one of the girls at school, gave me a bag of sun dried tomatoes.  These tomatoes are delicious.  They are lightly seasoned with herbs and salt, which makes the tomatoes taste like pizza.  I “hella” ate them.  I barely made it home with the bag.  The funny thing is that I have been craving dried tomatoes for my salads, and then “pow” the universe gives me a bag. 

Dawn is so super nice.  Since I’ve known her, she is one of the people who has supported by veganism.  Thank you Dawn.

Tomatoes are a good source of lycopene which could help reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.  Tomatotes are also high in vitamins A, C, and K, which have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.  Also, I don't know this for sure, but I believe red fruits and vegetables are good for the eyes.  That may be an "old wives" tale, but I'll take it. 

Strange Day

I am off the caffeine.  I bought all of these teas that I have helped me go through the detox.  I have to admit that I was not a nice person while going through the caffeine withdrawals.   I had a brief whack-out on Sunday.  I could only calm myself down by walking.  I am still getting the caffeine out of my body.

Today, I have a headache over both my eyes.  My nose ran a little this morning.  I took some cold medicine to help because I’ve notice that people around me at school have been ill.  Taking the meds may have been a mistake because now my headache has intensified.

I need have some anxiety about going blind—trying to refocus thought on maintaining vision.  I kept seeing the shadow in my left eye, and squinting my eyes while I walked today.  I told myself to relax because this is it.  I have to live with this vision.   

I have been high raw (95%) for 27 days, and I thought that by now I’d be the picture of health.  I can see that it is going to take some time.  I watch videos and people talk about how they have not had a cold since going raw, no mucous, perfect skin, beautiful hair, and overall health improvements.   

Now let us look at the good.  I am not ill with a cold/flu etc…; I had a sniffle.  I am doing everything I can possibly do to maintain my vision and improve my health—the rest is up to God.  I must stay the course, and let the miracles happen.    

No to the Fast

I’m not ready to do a fast. My fast day did not turn out the way I planned. I woke up, and I ate. Usually in the morning, I drink tea or water before I eat. This morning I woke up and I immediately ate. So, I decided that I would do the fat the next day. It did not work out. I went half of the day. I started to feel weak, and my thinking was off—not as clear as it has been. The strange thing is I have gone longer without eating on days that I am not fasting. So, the problem is psychological. In my mind there is a part of me that does not want to fast. Just mentioning the words drives me to eat.


Why did I want to fast? I wanted to clean out my system from all the nuts I’ve consumed, which have made me a little sluggish and constipated. I also wanted some kind of spiritual experience. My line of thought was if I don’t eat maybe I’ll have some deep awakening in my subconscious and gain new understanding of who I am.

Who am I? Maybe that is the quest of life—to find the authentic self.

Attention

What is my attention on?


Lately, I have been thinking about what I don’t want. I don’ want to live in my apartment anymore.

It is not productive because focusing on what I don’t want keeps me with it. I want to shift my attention to what I do want. I do want to live in a place that is quiet and safe with a large backyard to grow a vegetable garden and plant fruit trees. I want to live in a place that is secure that I own. If I could put my attention on these thoughts on a continual bases, and let the “don’t want” thoughts float away; I could manifest this place to live.

I am learning that attention and vibration are important in attaining goals and in happiness.  I’ve been listening to different people say the same thing over and over again. My response in the past was “yeah, but, my life sucks,” or “yeah, but you are not in my situation.” What if my response is to actually give it a try? What is the worst thing to happen? I achieve my goals.


Other thing, I say I will do is write, and I let it fall by weigh side. Follow through is important.

 

Keep Writing

Keep Writing

I’ve slacked on doing my post. I have no excuses, so I am spending this morning trying to catch up. I guess, I’ve been feeling a little let down by some of the veggie people. Some is totally into being vegetarian, vegan, raw (you fill in the blank) and the first little hiccup, she/he gives up then slams all the veggie people. I think that is the all or nothing mentality, or the “black and white” mentality.


By me feeling let down, I am given into the negative mentality and not moving forward. My happiness or the actions that I take do not rely on others. I am responsible for my life; therefore, I must continue to write because maybe someone out there might find this blog and it will help them with whatever struggles he/she is experiencing. This blog is not for me. I have to remind myself that. This blog is for that person who needs to know he/she is not alone. There are others who feel the way you do, who struggle with the same issues you do, who are like you.

Nut Crush

I want to talk about gourmet raw food. I’ve been watching people making recipes such as dehydrated pizza, nut cheese, raw not tuna, flax crackers, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds to be the base of diet. If I ate the gourmet raw foods, I’d probably gain weight just as if I was not raw.

I was reading this raw recipe book (I will not name it), and most of the food is dehydrated. It seemed dry. I want juicy foods in my diet.

I was also thinking about all the “super-foods” such as maca powder, gooji berries, spiralina, etc..Most if not all of those foods have to be imported, or brought from a long distance. How good is that for the world if one is thinking about his/her carbon foot print? That is a lot of fossil fuel being used so I can eat a super food.

Why am I on this line of thought? I was looking for something to boost my energy. I’ve been feeling sluggish, so I thought “hey, what about that maca powder stuff?” I started imagining how I could replace it for my caffeinated tea in the morning. Then I thought, I might get addicted to the kick it might give me then I’ll have to make sure I have my supply of maca. Do you see how that line of thought is dysfunctional and not of service to myself, or of service to others? It thought about acquiring for pleasure not happiness. I just want to be healthy and free of addiction. I want to be at peace, and right now I think the fresh fruits & vegetables is the way to achieve some peace.

Notice I did not add nuts& seeds in the last sentence. I believe that the nuts that I have been gorging on are making me tired because my body is working to process them. Nuts are a heavy, high fat food and I am feeling the results of over indulging.

Thursday, September 9th, I am going cold turkey, and freeing myself of the caffeine. I am also going to do a mini fast to lighten my load. I want to do three days, but for sure I will fast on juice for one day. I need to let my body do some elimination.

I’m ready to let go of my nut crush.

Morocan Spinach

I feel fantastic today. I made more of the Moroccan spinach, and stuffed it in lettuce leaves. It was a fantastic meal. The spinach tastes like taco meat, or like falafel. I stuffed myself. It is good to have the satisfied feeling after a raw vegan meal. The mix of spices and herbs with the lemon gave my meal a savory taste, the sweetness of the fruit (tomato &cucumber) took care of my sweet tooth, and the ¼ of avocado gave me the fat I need. All the way around, the Moroccan spinach was a fantastic meal.


Wow, I just read that spinach contains lutein which is one of the phytonutrients I need to help with my glaucoma. To increase the bioavailability of this phytonutrient in spinach, one should eat it with olive oil. I did this before I even knew that olive oil would boost the spinach POWER. I did not use much oil because the last few days I’ve been heavy on the fats (nuts, coconut meat, avocado, olives). I realize that I have to slow down on the fat consumption because it is making me feel heavy and bloated. My body is naturally gravitating to foods that can help my eyes.

My body has been tired the last few days. I think that is why I was craving spinach because of the iron content in the leaves. I got some decaffeinated tea to help me kick the habit. I cannot believe that I am hooked on caffeine, but it happened from drinking tea in the morning with my brother.

Mama Drinks Green Juice

Andrea likes juice

I love that my mother tries all the raw food and juices that I make.  God Bless Her.

Is food apart of a spiritual path?

Papaya is not my favorite fruit

I do know that I am feeling my emotions more with the raw food, but this present-ness began when freed myself from eating the animal products. I am noticing my thoughts more, for example when I am drudge up past thoughts that start me on a negative cycle. I remind myself that I am here “now.” The noticing of thoughts happens for me when I am on one of my morning walks. That is the time that I feel most connect to the spirit.

On a lighter note, from watching all the YouTube videos I notice when a person goes raw he/she tends to go hippie. When some people go raw, they start meditating, and doing spirit work (mandalas and mantras). Some people change their hair and their style of dress. Some people leave their jobs. The main thing that I notice when a person goes raw, he/she becomes more loving to his/herself and to other beings. I think that is happening to me.

While I was swimming today, for a moment I felt like I could see better. Is it the 14 days being raw, or is it my belief that living food will allow my body to heal, and help me maintain my vision? I don’t know, but I do know that I saw the world a little clearer.

I was not brave enough to go without caffeine today. I did begin the day with the tea. At this point in the journey, I will allow the caffeine from the tea. I am focused on eating as much non-cooked food as I can. If I start to separate my focus to get rid of the caffeinated tea, I will distract my concentration and probably start eating cooked. I need to get solid raw first.

I ate the papaya today. I’ve had papaya three times before and each time I eat it, I do not like it. So, for the fourth time, I let it ripen, and I still don’t like papaya. It is not sweet enough for me. There is a feel in y mouth as if I am eating fat, but it is not fat. I like my fruit sweet. I have a sweet tooth, which I do not have when I eat cooked food. I am craving sweet, sweet fruit.

Bring More Food

I did not eat enough food yesterday because today I woke up feeling really sluggish. I know that last night in class, I was really hungry, so I ate a bag of nuts & dried berries, and a kiwi. I did bring food for the day (16 oz green juice, 1 banana, 2 kiwis, 1 salad with fixings, ½ cucumber, ½ tomato, 1 cup of cantaloupe, 1 bag of nuts & dried berries) , but it was not enough. I think I need 3 bananas instead of one, and a larger salad for lunch. Starting next week, my days will be longer because I will be tutoring in the first part of the day. I have to bring more food, or I will poop out.

Today, I walked for two hours this morning. I came home ate a large mango, and drank some green juice. I could barely concentrate. I tried to refrain from drinking tea to pep me up. I got hooked on the caffeine in tea this summer, and now I have got to break the habit. By 1 pm, I had to have some tea, so I made ice tea with fresh lime. It was good, but I still had a headache. At 2pm, I took a nap. I felt so tired. It could be a combination of one or all of these: my body detoxing, the heat (over 100 degree temp today), caffeine withdrawal, and not enough calories. After I woke up, I ate another mango, which made me feel amazingly better.

Before I was really into raw foods, I ate mangos, but I was not crazy about them. I found them a bit tart. I realize that I did not let them ripen. Now, I find that I like mangos really ripe. I need to be able to smell the mango when I enter the kitchen before I can eat it. I like my fruit supper ripe to enjoy it and fill full after eating it.

Today's Juice and yesterday's salad

The pre-school salad

Before I left the house yesterday, I ate a really big salad and I took myself snack bag. There was a banana, an orange, a peach, a bowl of whole strawberries, and a small bag of nuts & dried berries. I know that I am consuming a lot of nuts; they are helping my transition to raw. For now, I am allowing myself the space to do what I need to do.

All the juice I made fit into 3 containers

Today, I am making juicing for myself and for my mother. My mother has arthritis, and she is a ball of stress energy. I am making two juices for her 1) carrot and 2) green juice with the main ingredients of collards and fennel. I hope I can get some video of her drinking, but I always forget to turn the camera on when she tries my juices and raw food. I am thankful that I have a mother who supports my eccentricities. She tries it all. I love you ma.

I always wanted to be on the radio

I am excited about my radio show. I did get some video of my first moments on the air waves. I think this is an opportunity to spread the message of health and love. My radio name is DJ Vegan. My show is alternative music focusing on the 80’s and 90’s (yeah, I’m old school).

Glaucoma Message

Green Juice is great for the eyes

I watched a video today that interview Dr. Bernie Siegel. He believes that our minds can help us heal. He calls it self-induced healing. Here are a few pearls of wisdom I got out of the 30 minute interview:



• You don’t have to like everyone, but you can love them.

• We have to see ourselves as the child, and love that child within.

• Listen to others and realize that we are all wounded.

• The curse becomes a blessing.

• Kill with kindness and ferment with tenderness.

I’ve been feeling scared really, really scared about going blind. I’ve been wondering why this happening to me? My family, my friends don’t seem to grasp the fact that I actually have vision loss. People think glaucoma is a joke; it is not; it is the leading cause of blindness.

I am also worried because I’ve run out of my medication, my prescription has expired, and I do not have health insurance. Out of the fear, I’ve been scrambling for a job, any job, so I can get the health benefits. Then I realized, I’ve been causing myself a lot of stress over something that has not occurred yet, over something that may not occur. The main thing I have to do is get out of grad school. The job will follow.

As for my health, I have a referral through Prevent Blindness America, so I can see a doctor and get my prescription refilled.

What can I do in the mean time? I can exercise, lower my stress levels, maintain the vegan diet, and strive for the raw whole fruits and vegetables diet. I can read about holistic ways to heal the eyes. I can practice some of the holistic techniques. I can watch my thoughts, and attach my consciousness to the positive thoughts. I can believe that I will maintain my vision.

How do I see the vision loss as a blessing? I need to change my thought about it. It is not vision loss, but maintenance of vision.

Please get your eyes checked on a regular basis even if you do not have a vision problem. Glaucoma can affect anyone, but it is most common in the elderly and in African Americans. If you need help getting a glaucoma screening please go to Prevent Blindness America website. There you can apply for a free referral to an ophthalmologist.

Perceptions About Raw Food

Nicole after a 2 hour walk

The photos I have included are my cashew pate I made last night, and what has happened just today.

I watched a YouTube video of this woman who declared that she will be 100% raw for the next 30 days. That is way too much pressure for me. It is the all of nothing mentality. For me, it is hard to be 100% raw. It is hard for me to be 100% of anything except 100% human. It took Dr. Doug Graham 10 years to become raw. All I can do is be the best me I can be for each new day. I am taking it one day at a time, and doing my best to not give up five minutes before the miracle.

Cashew Pate

Two years ago, I thought the raw food people where crazy. It seemed insane to me to eat uncooked fruits and vegetables even though eating cooked vegan foods seemed like a normal choice, or rather something sane to try.

breakfast

Nicole eats pineapple

After about a year of the vegan food, I started to think about what exactly is this faux-meat that I am eating. I started noticing that the foods that I was eating came out of a package. I began to think, “How good could eating this package food be for me?” I wanted to eat fresher. I started checking out the “CRAZY” raw foodist. The arguments that I listened to started to make sense, but still I couldn’t see myself subsisting on just raw foods. What about my bread, crackers, tortillas, tofu, veggie dogs & veggie patties, and granola? I love that stuff. I need that stuff.

Now, I am becoming raw because I believe that this diet will allow my body to heal, and allow me to receive the gift of health. It is just strange how our perceptions can change.