EatingVegan1234

Two Hours of Exercise

2011-12-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

Today was a triumph. I got up at 6 am, and I sat at my computer. I did not write, but I made it to my computer. I looked at a blank word document for a long time then I checked my email. I hung out on facebook--commenting and friending. I watched a few videos on youtube. I printed my resume and cv, so I can update them.

I had breakfast ( a bean burrito) and drank tea. At 10:15, I went to the gym where I did two hours of exercise. I did zumba and yoga. The yoga tore me up. I had to rest in the child pose for a little bit. I might have been worn out from the zumba.

I came home took a hot shower, started my laundry, watched Goonies (in English and Spanish at the same time).

Yes, today was a productive day. The major accomplishment was getting to my computer before the world awoke, and I did that. Now, tomorrow, hopefully I will write.

A walk: the Pee Man and the Cyclist

2011-12-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

This semester has not been the best for my girlish figure. I started strong with exercise and eating healthy meals then the filing in one of my teeth fell out. My tooth got infected. I got terribly sick. Finally, I had root canal, and I got even sicker. The first two months of the semester I spent ill. I did not exercise, and I started drinking (the Chardonnay) to numb the pain. When the tooth pain went away, I started eating to numb the pain of the cold the symptoms and deal with the stress.

The semester will be officially over for me December 14^th; it is the day I perform my last radio show.

How much weight have I gained since August (the beginning of fall semester)? I’d hazard a guess at maybe 15-20lbs. I can still fit my clothes, but my jeans are tight, and I don’t want to wear tight clothes.

What have I done to be healthy today?

The morning did not start off well. I was still pissed at my mother because of the conversation last night and the one a few days ago. She does not want to listen. I sent her an email telling her I am done talking to her. Every time I speak with her, I feel like shit afterwards. I’m done.

Late in the morning, I walked for an hour. It felt nice to move my body. Plus, I did my favorite exercise, which is walking outside. Sadly, while I was walking on the levee, I saw a young man who began to change his clothing in public. He put a cigarette in his mouth, sat all his shit down, walked toward a tree and began to urinate in public. I could not believe it. As I walked by, I tried to look the other way. Actually, I looked the other way. I even put my hand up to cover my face. He turned around and walked away from the tree towards me and said, “Good morning.”

I walked faster as I said, “Good morning.” It had to be one of the most uncomfortable moments I’ve experienced so far this year.

About twenty minutes later as I walked around the bend, the cyclist who always calls me “leather” appeared. He stopped his bike and asked me, “How does it feel to be a mother in-law?” I tilted my head from one side to the other like a puppy hearing a human make the guttural “aaahhhh” sound.

“You’re not leather” he said. I slightly shook my head left to right or right to left. My eyes got big; I could feel them, and I know I had a goofy smile on my face. I could not believe the cyclist was talking to me. With a big smile, he continued “I’ve been calling you leather all this time. You look like a woman I know who lives on the other side of the levee named leather. Her son just got married.”

I smiled. He said a bunch of other stuff, but I did not pay attention because I was checking out his body. I was also in shock because this was the first time he ever stopped to talk to me. The cyclist has a very nice figure. He is extremely healthy!

I told him, “it’s okay.” Then I said something similar to “have a nice day” or “Merry Christmas.” I cannot remember. I’ve been drooling over the cyclist since summer 2010. He smiled and spoke. I don’t know what he said—remember I was in shock. He got on his bike and road off.

Holiday Party

2011-12-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

On the second day of my health kick, I went to a holiday party. And yes, I indulged in the food. I ate some type of fried vegetarian pot sticker. I have to give it a better effort because I started the day off processed. I went to Taco Bell where I ate two fresco bean burritos and a soda.

I have to remind myself it is a practice not a perfection. The good thing is that the food I eat now to numb my feelings with is healthier than it would be if I weren't vegan. Before, I ate hamburgers, met pizza, roasted chicken, cheese in all its incarnations. Now, I eat bean burritos, veggie dogs, fires, and potato chips when I want to stuff my self.

I also need to work on not eating when I am stuffed.

Today, I did not do too much better. I ate chips for breakfast, but I did wake up at 5:30, and I went right to my computer to write. I did not exercise. I planned to go to the gym and do zumba and yoga instead I got back into the bed.

Right now, I feel stuffed. There is a heaviness. See, it is possible to gain weight and be unhealthy while practicing a vegan diet.
Tomorrow is a new day!

Finnegan Begin Again

2011-12-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

Since school is almost over for me, I can dedicate my time to this blog. For 365 days, I will work on incorporating more raw food into my diet and more exercise. I will soicalize with humans and become involved with the vegan lifestyle.

I began the 365 days yesterday. I juiced, and ate raw until dinner then I ate baked potatoes with radish topping. Later last night, I had a mini-potato chip binge! It is okay. I am practicing there is no perfection.

Finally, I got the glass canning jars that Crosspecans wanted me to use instead of the plastic. do I feel healthier? I don't feel it yet.

I have a sense of dread because I want to drink wine, and eat veggie dogs. I want to stay in bed and watch tv instead of walking.

it is only the second day, so I am keeping my eye on the goal.

Aphrodite Open My Fourth Chakra

2011-06-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have been advised to send a prayer to the Goddess Aphrodite to help open my throat chakra. When I think about communication, I do not think of the Goddess of Love. I think of Athena; she is the brain babe. But, I will try it because I want to let the words fly out of my mouth. I wish that writing wasn't like pulling teeth for me. I wish writing was something that I look forward to doing. Actually, I have mixed emotions about writing. I love it and hate it at the same time.

Since I am on this juice fast, I might as well give a prayer a try. Who knows? It might work.

Hear My Prayer Aphrodite:
Lift the masculine energy suppressing my voice.
Give the strength to speak my truth
Give me the courage to write my truth
Open my fourth chakra
Blue healing, bright, circular emanates from my throat
The pain in my throat is gone
Speech is what remains
The words flow

Juice Fast Day 12--Beet Liver Cleanse

2011-06-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Today, I made a straight beet juice and drank it all in one go. Beets are great if you are constipated, or if you want to rid your liver of toxins. Please be aware that the beets will turn your urine and feces red, so do not freak out when you go the the bathroom. It is just the beets.

I have been dreading taking the red beets since I bought them. The last time I had beet juice, I mixed it with carrot juice and tried to drink on it during the day. I felt nauseated, and the experience put me off of beets.

So, why the beet juice liver cleanse? I feel like I have some stuff in my body that needs moving and I know that the beets will do the trick. My body feels constipated even though I eliminated (solid) yesterday.

Juice Fast Day 10--Maca Powder

2011-06-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

Since I've been doing this juice fast, and I don't have any food in my body. I decided that I would start incorporating maca powder into my morning juices to see if maca really works. Maca is a Peruvian root that is suppose to give one energy if consumed. It is suppose to regulate hormones. I tried maca powder about four or five months ago, but I could not be consistent with it. I could not tell if the maca was given me energy because I was consuming large quantities of smoothies, occasionally drinking white wine, and eating huge meals. I mostly felt tired. It seemed like I could not get enough sleep at that time.

When I opened the cabinet yesterday to look at my food ( I do that sometimes. I just look.), my eyes fell upon the maca powder, so I decide to put in my morning juice. I don't know if I had energy yesterday.

This morning, I added a teaspoon and a half of maca to my orange juice. That was about five hours ago. Since then, I've showered, checked my email, gone shopping, juiced, and cleaned up.

Right now, I do feel motivated to write. I feel warmth in my chest. We shall see if the maca works.

Juice Fast Day 8--Opening Throat Chakra

2011-06-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

The throat chakra is on my mind lately. It is because I feel like I need some kind of divine intervention to help me get my thoughts organized in to a coherent string that others can understand? The throat is all about communication with self and with others. It is about words.

My words are not coming to me. I have to much chatter in my head from the tv. I also feel a pressure on my throat. An opening of the throat chakra is what I need.

I attempted to do two meditations, and I still feel like I am mute. The pressure is still there. Maybe instead of riding myself of the pressure on my throat, I should embrace it--learn to accept it.

It might be a good idea to start a meditation practice while I do this juice fast. I want to develop some good personal habits of mind.

The Juice of the day Pear, Apple and Watermelon. The melon is not show in the photo below, but if you really want to see it, go to my videos

Juice Fast Continues Day 7

2011-06-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

It is the end of the day and a time for reflection. I told myself at the beginning of this juice fast I would not push myself beyond my limits, and I would set a goal for seven days. After the seven days, I would decide if I will continue an additional seven days or stop. The decision is to continue with the juice fast.

There is a need to release more. Maybe I am release more than weight? I feel like I am release old attitudes, or thought patterns that no longer serve me. There is more time to spend examining my thoughts and my relation to others because I am not spending time preparing foods, or obsessing about those comfort items that help me numb my self to the world around me.

I dreaded this day because this was the day that I would take my brother to the Social Security office (SSI) to replace his lost card. Who wants to spend the day ( a hot day) in a bureaucratic web of lines and numbers? I don't. I barely slept last night because I had the TV on (another one of those no-nos that I do when I know I shouldn't).

I made orange juice and gave some to my brother. Actually, he asked for it after smelling the aroma of fresh orange in the air. My body worked on 8 oz of orange juice and 32 oz of water. I could not believe that there was no headache, and I was relatively tolerant to the other humans waiting at SSI to take care of the business of being counted. While we sat and waited for my brother's name to be called, I guzzled almost a whole bottle of water. I immediately felt fresh. My eye sight seemed to come in focus.

The amazing part of the day was that I was able to drive in a relaxed manner without any anxiety. I even drove on the freeway, and felt completely secure in my abilities to manipulate my car (Red Daughter).

I want to move, so I was looking at neighbors that I'd like to live in. I got to see it before it can happen.

Slimy Chinese Spinach

2011-06-20T16:21:00.000-07:00

I went to the Farmer's Market yesterday, and got a bunch of produce. I wanted some greens, but I didn't see any that looked good. I went to this one vegetable stand, and I saw this plant that had beautiful flat leaves. I asked the girl behind the table what it was. She told me, "It is Chinese spinach."
"Does it taste like spinach?" I ask.
"yeah, just saute it. What are you going to do with it?" she responses with a inquisitive look on her face. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open with the slightest hint of a smile. I did notice that her teeth were brown on top; it reminded me off my yellow teeth when I was teenager.

I smiled at her told her in a matter of fact tone, as if it is obvious, doesn't she know I'm on a juice fast, "I'm going to juice it."

The girls eyes almost popped out of her head. "Juice it," she said.

"Yes, juice it." I replied as I handed her two dollars.

The girl was giving me a sign. If only I had read the road map of her face a lot better, I would have known that juicing Chinese spinach is not a good idea.

However, I did listen to my inner voice earlier today when it told me to taste the Chinese spinach before I added it to my juice. It did taste like spinach, but it produced a fair amount of slime in my mouth as I chewed it (yes, I did swallow).

I decided to juice a bit of it to see if it had a thick slimy quality. OMG, when I put the Chinese spinach in the juicer, it started to come out like long, strings, of wet, sticky greenness. It looked like a giant bugger entered my juicer. I immediately stopped juicing.

I had to clean every bit of the juicer of this sticky, yucky, mess that seemed to plaster itself against any surface. It was like touching a raw egg, but 20 times worse. I had scrub the fluid of Chinese spinach off, and it was not going away easy.

Juice of the Day--Tropical Cotton Candy

2011-06-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

Tropical Cotton Candy is a juice that consist of cantaloupe, pineapple, and watermelon. When I first tasted it, the flavor was so intense that I called it candy in a glass. While on this juice fast I have to mix up my juices. I do not want to consume only green juices that will get tired quick. So, to spice it up, I came up with Tropical Cotton Candy. Make sure that this is not the only juice you have during the day. Remember, we have to get our healing greens, so have Tropical Cotton Candy as a supplement to your juicing diet.

Tropical Cotton Candy Ingredients:

1 cantaloupe

1 pineapple

3 cups of watermelon

(note: you can add a bit of the watermelon rind)

Juice of the day--Green Jeans

2011-06-18T14:49:00.000-07:00

I call this juice Green Jeans because after I drank it I felt like trying on my skinny jeans. Not! I call this juice Green Jeans because it is the first think that popped in my mind when I thought about naming it. This juice is delicious and has a vibrant color.

This juice makes about 64 oz in a Jack La lane Power Juicer. You quantity of juice may vary depending upon the juicer you use.

Ingredients for Green Jeans Juice:

3 stalks of celery

2 tomatoes

2 cucumbers

1 jalapeno
1/2 a crown of broccoli

2 lemons with the rind removed

2 apples with the seeds removed

1 bunch of parsley

1 bunch of mint

1 bunch of spinach

Juice Fast Day 4--Cleanse the Colon with Chia Seeds

2011-06-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

According to Steven Meyerwitz in his book, Juice Fasting, chia seeds are good to use to cleanse the colon if you don't want to (or cannot) get a colonic. Right now, I am broke and cannot spend $100 on a colonic, and I do not see myself giving myself a enema, so I'm going with the chia seeds. I don't have to buy them; I already have chia seeds in my refrigerator.

Do the chia seeds work? I took a teaspoon full with 16 oz of water about an hour ago, and I have eliminated twice. From my experience, I can say that chia seeds work to cleanse the colon, which is extremely important on a fast. The body is gathering all the waste from your cells, and it needs to rid itself of this waste. Because one is not consuming fiber on a juice fast, it is difficult for the body to eliminate; therefore, the body needs help. This is where the chia seeds come in handy.

Juice Fast Day 3--I made a nasty juice

2011-06-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

I thought that a juice fast would be easier than the Master Cleanse. In some respects juice fasting is easier. I don't crave food all the time like I did with the Master Cleanse. I am full after I drink a juice. I don't have to take the poop tea (smooth move). I don't feel cold or lethargic. All of these things are easier.

What I did not expect is that I would eliminate (poop) so much on a juice fast. I thought that I would be constipated. I did not expect that my tummy would gargle and grumble. I'm not sure if it is the heat from the weather that is making me hot (feverish), or if it is the juice fast that is causing toxins to run through my body.

Another thing that I am finding not easy is when I make a juice that totally sucks. Today, I made a red chard, parsley, lemon, celery, cantaloupe, kiwi, apple, and pineapple juice. This juice in theory should be delicious, but I don't like it. There is definitely an earthy taste that I associate with beets (even though there aren't any beets in this juice). It could be the celery mixed with the fruit that is putting me off, but what ever the cause I still have to drink this juice.

Juice Fast Day Two

2011-06-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

The energy that I had yesterday was not there today. I stayed in bed until 10am. I wanted to stay in bed and let the day happen without me, but if I didn't get up I would not have any juice to drink for the day. Finally, I got up to make orange juice, watermelon juice, and green juice.

Basically, I spent the day in bed or on the toilet, or in bed as you can see from my photos. My stomach gruggled and bubbled all day. I could actually here it grumbling. I also had a lot of gas that caused me some pain in my abdomin, which went away with each trip to the bathroom. This is what the juice fasting book calls dextox symptoms.

I fantasized about eating pizza (vegan pizza of course! Hahah). I thought about making kale chips, but decided against it because I'd have to taste the faux cheese. I even craved cauliflower with nutrional yeast sprinkled on it.

Start Juice Fast

2011-06-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that I began the juice fast. I am consuming nothing but juices. As for the length of the juice fast, I decided to do day by day. I'd like to do 31 days, but I will start with saying, "I intend to juice fast for 7 days." If I set a goal date and I don't meet it, I don't want to be disappointed in myself.

Why are you doing a Juice Fast Nicole?

I need to reset myself. By "reset" I mean clear out all of the junk (french fries, potato chips, caffeine) that I have put inside of my body. For the last month and a half, I have exercised maybe twice. I've just been in a fog. Now, is the time to clear the fog out and let the sunshine.
I want to lose some weight. I am tired of being fat. Although, I am not as fat as I was or have been, I still want to drop some weight. How much weight do I want to release ( the new word is release--because if you lose something you might find it, and I don't want to find weight).

Sun Dried Tomatoes

2010-09-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Dawn, one of the girls at school, gave me a bag of sun dried tomatoes. These tomatoes are delicious. They are lightly seasoned with herbs and salt, which makes the tomatoes taste like pizza. I “hella” ate them. I barely made it home with the bag. The funny thing is that I have been craving dried tomatoes for my salads, and then “pow” the universe gives me a bag.

Dawn is so super nice. Since I’ve known her, she is one of the people who has supported by veganism. Thank you Dawn.

Tomatoes are a good source of lycopene which could help reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease. Tomatotes are also high in vitamins A, C, and K, which have antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. Also, I don't know this for sure, but I believe red fruits and vegetables are good for the eyes. That may be an "old wives" tale, but I'll take it.

Strange Day

2010-09-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

I am off the caffeine. I bought all of these teas that I have helped me go through the detox. I have to admit that I was not a nice person while going through the caffeine withdrawals. I had a brief whack-out on Sunday. I could only calm myself down by walking. I am still getting the caffeine out of my body.

Today, I have a headache over both my eyes. My nose ran a little this morning. I took some cold medicine to help because I’ve notice that people around me at school have been ill. Taking the meds may have been a mistake because now my headache has intensified.

I need have some anxiety about going blind—trying to refocus thought on maintaining vision. I kept seeing the shadow in my left eye, and squinting my eyes while I walked today. I told myself to relax because this is it. I have to live with this vision.

I have been high raw (95%) for 27 days, and I thought that by now I’d be the picture of health. I can see that it is going to take some time. I watch videos and people talk about how they have not had a cold since going raw, no mucous, perfect skin, beautiful hair, and overall health improvements.

Now let us look at the good. I am not ill with a cold/flu etc…; I had a sniffle. I am doing everything I can possibly do to maintain my vision and improve my health—the rest is up to God. I must stay the course, and let the miracles happen.

No to the Fast

2010-09-12T08:03:00.000-07:00

I’m not ready to do a fast. My fast day did not turn out the way I planned. I woke up, and I ate. Usually in the morning, I drink tea or water before I eat. This morning I woke up and I immediately ate. So, I decided that I would do the fat the next day. It did not work out. I went half of the day. I started to feel weak, and my thinking was off—not as clear as it has been. The strange thing is I have gone longer without eating on days that I am not fasting. So, the problem is psychological. In my mind there is a part of me that does not want to fast. Just mentioning the words drives me to eat.

Why did I want to fast? I wanted to clean out my system from all the nuts I’ve consumed, which have made me a little sluggish and constipated. I also wanted some kind of spiritual experience. My line of thought was if I don’t eat maybe I’ll have some deep awakening in my subconscious and gain new understanding of who I am.

Who am I? Maybe that is the quest of life—to find the authentic self.

Attention

2010-09-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

What is my attention on?

Lately, I have been thinking about what I don’t want. I don’ want to live in my apartment anymore.

It is not productive because focusing on what I don’t want keeps me with it. I want to shift my attention to what I do want. I do want to live in a place that is quiet and safe with a large backyard to grow a vegetable garden and plant fruit trees. I want to live in a place that is secure that I own. If I could put my attention on these thoughts on a continual bases, and let the “don’t want” thoughts float away; I could manifest this place to live.

I am learning that attention and vibration are important in attaining goals and in happiness. I’ve been listening to different people say the same thing over and over again. My response in the past was “yeah, but, my life sucks,” or “yeah, but you are not in my situation.” What if my response is to actually give it a try? What is the worst thing to happen? I achieve my goals.

Other thing, I say I will do is write, and I let it fall by weigh side. Follow through is important.

Keep Writing

2010-09-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

Keep Writing

I’ve slacked on doing my post. I have no excuses, so I am spending this morning trying to catch up. I guess, I’ve been feeling a little let down by some of the veggie people. Some is totally into being vegetarian, vegan, raw (you fill in the blank) and the first little hiccup, she/he gives up then slams all the veggie people. I think that is the all or nothing mentality, or the “black and white” mentality.

By me feeling let down, I am given into the negative mentality and not moving forward. My happiness or the actions that I take do not rely on others. I am responsible for my life; therefore, I must continue to write because maybe someone out there might find this blog and it will help them with whatever struggles he/she is experiencing. This blog is not for me. I have to remind myself that. This blog is for that person who needs to know he/she is not alone. There are others who feel the way you do, who struggle with the same issues you do, who are like you.

Nut Crush

2010-09-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

I want to talk about gourmet raw food. I’ve been watching people making recipes such as dehydrated pizza, nut cheese, raw not tuna, flax crackers, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I want fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds to be the base of diet. If I ate the gourmet raw foods, I’d probably gain weight just as if I was not raw.

I was reading this raw recipe book (I will not name it), and most of the food is dehydrated. It seemed dry. I want juicy foods in my diet.

I was also thinking about all the “super-foods” such as maca powder, gooji berries, spiralina, etc..Most if not all of those foods have to be imported, or brought from a long distance. How good is that for the world if one is thinking about his/her carbon foot print? That is a lot of fossil fuel being used so I can eat a super food.

Why am I on this line of thought? I was looking for something to boost my energy. I’ve been feeling sluggish, so I thought “hey, what about that maca powder stuff?” I started imagining how I could replace it for my caffeinated tea in the morning. Then I thought, I might get addicted to the kick it might give me then I’ll have to make sure I have my supply of maca. Do you see how that line of thought is dysfunctional and not of service to myself, or of service to others? It thought about acquiring for pleasure not happiness. I just want to be healthy and free of addiction. I want to be at peace, and right now I think the fresh fruits & vegetables is the way to achieve some peace.

Notice I did not add nuts& seeds in the last sentence. I believe that the nuts that I have been gorging on are making me tired because my body is working to process them. Nuts are a heavy, high fat food and I am feeling the results of over indulging.

Thursday, September 9th, I am going cold turkey, and freeing myself of the caffeine. I am also going to do a mini fast to lighten my load. I want to do three days, but for sure I will fast on juice for one day. I need to let my body do some elimination.

I’m ready to let go of my nut crush.

Morocan Spinach

2010-09-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

I feel fantastic today. I made more of the Moroccan spinach, and stuffed it in lettuce leaves. It was a fantastic meal. The spinach tastes like taco meat, or like falafel. I stuffed myself. It is good to have the satisfied feeling after a raw vegan meal. The mix of spices and herbs with the lemon gave my meal a savory taste, the sweetness of the fruit (tomato &cucumber) took care of my sweet tooth, and the ¼ of avocado gave me the fat I need. All the way around, the Moroccan spinach was a fantastic meal.

Wow, I just read that spinach contains lutein which is one of the phytonutrients I need to help with my glaucoma. To increase the bioavailability of this phytonutrient in spinach, one should eat it with olive oil. I did this before I even knew that olive oil would boost the spinach POWER. I did not use much oil because the last few days I’ve been heavy on the fats (nuts, coconut meat, avocado, olives). I realize that I have to slow down on the fat consumption because it is making me feel heavy and bloated. My body is naturally gravitating to foods that can help my eyes.

My body has been tired the last few days. I think that is why I was craving spinach because of the iron content in the leaves. I got some decaffeinated tea to help me kick the habit. I cannot believe that I am hooked on caffeine, but it happened from drinking tea in the morning with my brother.

Mama Drinks Green Juice

2010-09-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

Andrea likes juice

I love that my mother tries all the raw food and juices that I make. God Bless Her.

Is food apart of a spiritual path?

2010-09-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

Papaya is not my favorite fruit

I do know that I am feeling my emotions more with the raw food, but this present-ness began when freed myself from eating the animal products. I am noticing my thoughts more, for example when I am drudge up past thoughts that start me on a negative cycle. I remind myself that I am here “now.” The noticing of thoughts happens for me when I am on one of my morning walks. That is the time that I feel most connect to the spirit.

On a lighter note, from watching all the YouTube videos I notice when a person goes raw he/she tends to go hippie. When some people go raw, they start meditating, and doing spirit work (mandalas and mantras). Some people change their hair and their style of dress. Some people leave their jobs. The main thing that I notice when a person goes raw, he/she becomes more loving to his/herself and to other beings. I think that is happening to me.

While I was swimming today, for a moment I felt like I could see better. Is it the 14 days being raw, or is it my belief that living food will allow my body to heal, and help me maintain my vision? I don’t know, but I do know that I saw the world a little clearer.

I was not brave enough to go without caffeine today. I did begin the day with the tea. At this point in the journey, I will allow the caffeine from the tea. I am focused on eating as much non-cooked food as I can. If I start to separate my focus to get rid of the caffeinated tea, I will distract my concentration and probably start eating cooked. I need to get solid raw first.

I ate the papaya today. I’ve had papaya three times before and each time I eat it, I do not like it. So, for the fourth time, I let it ripen, and I still don’t like papaya. It is not sweet enough for me. There is a feel in y mouth as if I am eating fat, but it is not fat. I like my fruit sweet. I have a sweet tooth, which I do not have when I eat cooked food. I am craving sweet, sweet fruit.

Bring More Food

2010-09-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

I did not eat enough food yesterday because today I woke up feeling really sluggish. I know that last night in class, I was really hungry, so I ate a bag of nuts & dried berries, and a kiwi. I did bring food for the day (16 oz green juice, 1 banana, 2 kiwis, 1 salad with fixings, ½ cucumber, ½ tomato, 1 cup of cantaloupe, 1 bag of nuts & dried berries) , but it was not enough. I think I need 3 bananas instead of one, and a larger salad for lunch. Starting next week, my days will be longer because I will be tutoring in the first part of the day. I have to bring more food, or I will poop out.

Today, I walked for two hours this morning. I came home ate a large mango, and drank some green juice. I could barely concentrate. I tried to refrain from drinking tea to pep me up. I got hooked on the caffeine in tea this summer, and now I have got to break the habit. By 1 pm, I had to have some tea, so I made ice tea with fresh lime. It was good, but I still had a headache. At 2pm, I took a nap. I felt so tired. It could be a combination of one or all of these: my body detoxing, the heat (over 100 degree temp today), caffeine withdrawal, and not enough calories. After I woke up, I ate another mango, which made me feel amazingly better.

Before I was really into raw foods, I ate mangos, but I was not crazy about them. I found them a bit tart. I realize that I did not let them ripen. Now, I find that I like mangos really ripe. I need to be able to smell the mango when I enter the kitchen before I can eat it. I like my fruit supper ripe to enjoy it and fill full after eating it.

Today's Juice and yesterday's salad

2010-08-31T18:33:00.000-07:00

The pre-school salad

Before I left the house yesterday, I ate a really big salad and I took myself snack bag. There was a banana, an orange, a peach, a bowl of whole strawberries, and a small bag of nuts & dried berries. I know that I am consuming a lot of nuts; they are helping my transition to raw. For now, I am allowing myself the space to do what I need to do.

All the juice I made fit into 3 containers

Today, I am making juicing for myself and for my mother. My mother has arthritis, and she is a ball of stress energy. I am making two juices for her 1) carrot and 2) green juice with the main ingredients of collards and fennel. I hope I can get some video of her drinking, but I always forget to turn the camera on when she tries my juices and raw food. I am thankful that I have a mother who supports my eccentricities. She tries it all. I love you ma.

I always wanted to be on the radio

I am excited about my radio show. I did get some video of my first moments on the air waves. I think this is an opportunity to spread the message of health and love. My radio name is DJ Vegan. My show is alternative music focusing on the 80’s and 90’s (yeah, I’m old school).

Glaucoma Message

2010-08-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

Green Juice is great for the eyes

I watched a video today that interview Dr. Bernie Siegel. He believes that our minds can help us heal. He calls it self-induced healing. Here are a few pearls of wisdom I got out of the 30 minute interview:

• You don’t have to like everyone, but you can love them.

• We have to see ourselves as the child, and love that child within.

• Listen to others and realize that we are all wounded.

• The curse becomes a blessing.

• Kill with kindness and ferment with tenderness.

I’ve been feeling scared really, really scared about going blind. I’ve been wondering why this happening to me? My family, my friends don’t seem to grasp the fact that I actually have vision loss. People think glaucoma is a joke; it is not; it is the leading cause of blindness.

I am also worried because I’ve run out of my medication, my prescription has expired, and I do not have health insurance. Out of the fear, I’ve been scrambling for a job, any job, so I can get the health benefits. Then I realized, I’ve been causing myself a lot of stress over something that has not occurred yet, over something that may not occur. The main thing I have to do is get out of grad school. The job will follow.

As for my health, I have a referral through Prevent Blindness America, so I can see a doctor and get my prescription refilled.

What can I do in the mean time? I can exercise, lower my stress levels, maintain the vegan diet, and strive for the raw whole fruits and vegetables diet. I can read about holistic ways to heal the eyes. I can practice some of the holistic techniques. I can watch my thoughts, and attach my consciousness to the positive thoughts. I can believe that I will maintain my vision.

How do I see the vision loss as a blessing? I need to change my thought about it. It is not vision loss, but maintenance of vision.

Please get your eyes checked on a regular basis even if you do not have a vision problem. Glaucoma can affect anyone, but it is most common in the elderly and in African Americans. If you need help getting a glaucoma screening please go to Prevent Blindness America website. There you can apply for a free referral to an ophthalmologist.

Perceptions About Raw Food

2010-08-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

Nicole after a 2 hour walk

The photos I have included are my cashew pate I made last night, and what has happened just today.

I watched a YouTube video of this woman who declared that she will be 100% raw for the next 30 days. That is way too much pressure for me. It is the all of nothing mentality. For me, it is hard to be 100% raw. It is hard for me to be 100% of anything except 100% human. It took Dr. Doug Graham 10 years to become raw. All I can do is be the best me I can be for each new day. I am taking it one day at a time, and doing my best to not give up five minutes before the miracle.

Cashew Pate

Two years ago, I thought the raw food people where crazy. It seemed insane to me to eat uncooked fruits and vegetables even though eating cooked vegan foods seemed like a normal choice, or rather something sane to try.

breakfast

Nicole eats pineapple

After about a year of the vegan food, I started to think about what exactly is this faux-meat that I am eating. I started noticing that the foods that I was eating came out of a package. I began to think, “How good could eating this package food be for me?” I wanted to eat fresher. I started checking out the “CRAZY” raw foodist. The arguments that I listened to started to make sense, but still I couldn’t see myself subsisting on just raw foods. What about my bread, crackers, tortillas, tofu, veggie dogs & veggie patties, and granola? I love that stuff. I need that stuff.

Now, I am becoming raw because I believe that this diet will allow my body to heal, and allow me to receive the gift of health. It is just strange how our perceptions can change.

Totally Gorged on Cashews

2010-08-27T16:54:00.000-07:00

I totally gorged on cashews today. I got nervous while I was doing my homework . I could not find the discussion board because I must have temporary lost my mind. I sent a panic email to my instructor. After I sent the email, I found the link. So, I had to send a email asking him to disregard my crazy “I can’t find the discussion board” email.

When I found the discussion board, I noticed that the stuff I wrote and uploaded to Blackboard on Tuesday did not show up today. Then I tried to open the PDF document that I saved my writing on, and it opened blank. That is when I started tripping. I blamed it on my computer, but I did remain relatively calm. I did not cuss or threaten my computer with mutilation. I rebooted.

While my computer was booting up, I ate one large handful of nuts & dried berry medley. I drank green juice straight from the bottle—no glass for this girl. I was full.

My computer came back up. I logged on to Blackboard. I opened the PDF; it came up with all the stuff I wrote. I opened the discussion board, and I still did not find my post. So, I had to resubmit my work.

While I copied and pasted and uploaded, I ate another big handful of nuts & berry medley. This handful took me over the edge. I feel full in an uncomfortable way. My tummy feels heavy and my tongue feels over stimulated from the sugar in the dried berries.

What did I learn?

I learned that I used raw food the same way I used non-vegan cooked food. I wanted to rid myself of my anxiety, and the only way I could think of to do it in a quick way was to eat a large amount of fat and sugar.

I need to work on using alternative strategies for dealing with extreme emotions. Breathing would have been better than putting something in my mouth. I cannot put “things” in my mouth when I am stressed. I say “things” because in the past I have put food, alcohol, cigarettes, and pills in my mouth to numb emotion.

I have to allow myself to feel.

Wonderful Day

2010-08-26T18:29:00.000-07:00

I opened a young Thai coconut, and I did not freak out. I conquered my fear of cutting myself. Today, I really know that I can do a raw lifestyle. The coconut gave me confidence.
I made a kind of pad-thai dish. I sliced the coconut meat very thin, and I added it to mung bean sprouts, red bell pepper, mushrooms, green onion, basil, cilantro and a sauce (coconut water, lime, srirachi, sesame seed oil, tamari, 1 large clove of garlic. It was simple and good. I served it on a bed of chopped romaine lettuce.

I spent more money than I intended to, but I bought myself a new juicer. I really wanted a juicer that would take whole foods, so I would not have to continue chopping all my foods for the juicer. The chopping was discouraging, and I was not juicing as often as I should. I should be juicing everyday, but I've been juicing one a week if I had the energy.

The prep time for juicing was at least 45 minutes with my old juicer; I had to chop everything, so it would fit down the juicer’s chute. With the new juicer, all I had to do was wash everything and cut an apple in half (I had a gianormous apple). Plus, the new juicer gave me more juice for the fruit & vegetables I put inside of it. I am happy.

Prepare to be Questioned

2010-08-25T16:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I put together a salad pack for myself to take to school today. So, I could eat a good salad that would not cost me $6.00 or more.

It was amazing because the pre-made salad area was filled with only meat type salads. There was all types of chicken salads (western chicken, chicken Cesar), but not one plain vegetable salad. The Lady behind the counter had to go scrounge one up. I think they made it on the fly because I was waiting a long time for just a basic vegetable salad.

This incident made me think about how ingrained meat eating is in our society. The thought of having something without meat is completely alien to some people. In one of the workshops, I was with the new tutors and we began talking about vegetarianism, or rather they began questioning me on my diet (they noticed that early I are only fruit for breakfast). I did my best to be upbeat without trying to push my lifestyle on others. Of course, I was asked the same old question “Where do you get your protein?”

My response, “There is protein in everything we eat—it’s the enzymes that we need.” In reflection, my response was a joke and made no sense to this kid unless they have read the books I have blah, blah, blah.

Then a few of the girls to my right sneakered a little at the thought of a vegetarian diet, “That takes a lot of will power.”

My response, “It has nothing to do with willpower it has to do with health. I eat this way to heal my body and preserve the vision that I have in my eyes.”

Then one of the girls ask “isn’t it expensive to eat raw?”

My response, “How expensive is it to buy fruits and vegetables? That’s the cheapest grocery you will buy, but there are the specialty prepackaged raw foods, which are expensive”

One of the new tutors asked if I ate egg. This was the question that led to the discussion of male baby chicks, and how they are ground up alive.

Another tutor told me he loves to eat cows. I asked if he could kill a cow. No reply. Then told me he knows how they are killed. I thought knowing and doing are two different things.

Today, I became aware of how I need to be prepared for the questioning. I need to prepare answers to common questions, and to explain in the simplest terms possible what is a diet free of animals products and the concept of raw foods.

Savory Salad

2010-08-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

I made a really good savory salad similar to the one I made last night except this one had the addition of kale. Instead of ripping the kale into tiny bite size pieces; I chopped it in the food process. Its appearance was similar to parsley. The kale added that extra flavor to my salad.

Since I started the Raw Food Journey, I’ve been craving savory dishes. I’m glad I gave myself the freedom to have nuts, avocado, and olives at will. Now that I can have them I am not obsessed with the cook food. My desire for beans has gone away. I really think the bean craving was really a craving for onions and garlic.

The flavor combination of the dill, onion and garlic gave my taste buds relief. Or, maybe it gave my psychological taste buds relief.

I notice that when my belly was full of food the other day from the mushroom & zucchini salad with the sunflower seed dressing; I did not feel satisfied. I was full, but not happy about the taste or the sensation of the meal. Last night and tonight, I am full and satisfied.

This morning, I slept in till 8 am (that is as late as my cats will let me sleep in peace). I felt tired; I was dragging myself around. I did not do my two hour walk; I took a leisurely swim (plus I did water aerobics in the pool). For a few hours after the exercise, I felt energized. I decided my sluggishness was due to

1. Detoxing the toxins out of my body

2. Not eating enough fruit.

3. Eating nuts late at night—still digesting.

4. Staying up late to watch the DVR—need more sleep

5. The hot weather.

Tomorrow, I will do my best to consume copious amounts of fruit tomorrow to boost my energy.

What I learned

2010-08-23T22:00:00.001-07:00

Since I am beginning the raw diet, I have to let myself have the fat. I need the avocado, the nuts, and the olives to make it through the day. Each day, I need to have one or two of those items to not fantasize about eating cooked food.

After school tonight, I imagined myself pulling into Taco Bell and getting a bean burrito with no cheese. I’m lucky that my drive home is 45 minutes. It gave me an opportunity to think about my dinner and focus. I told myself that I cannot have cooked food. I need to make through this day.

I started thinking about a salad. I thought about the salad I had last night, and it was not so delicious. Then I heard it—a little voice. It told me to make one of my salads with all my favorites. I just needed to make it home without detouring.

When I got home, I pulled out the romaine, cucumber, some radish, 3 green onions, olives, lime, 1 clove of garlic, 1 tomato, some fresh dill, some clover sprouts, capers, avocado and cashews. I did sprinkle a little salt and fresh cracked black pepper over the chopped tomato and cucumber. I also sprinkled some raisins, a little cayenne pepper, and a little paprika over the entire salad.

It was satisfying. I ate three bowls of the salad.

Now, I’m sitting in front of my laptop typing with a tooth pick in my mouth. My belly is full. Until being raw is old hat, I need the fats. I need to work to 80/10/10.

Day 2's Melt Down

2010-08-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

I am 95% raw today. I just had a melt down and ate some potato chips then I threw the bag away. I cannot have chips around me. They are highly processed; they are fried, and they are salted.

The reason for eating the chips, according to Dr. Doug Graham is that I have not eaten enough fruit today. What did I eat? I ate two bananas, one super large mango, one Clementine, and 1 fat mushy date. Clearly that is not enough food.

This morning I thought about making a smoothie, but I had to get to Best Buy to have my systems disk made for a cheap computer I bought Friday.

ALERT—ALERT--Now, I go on a tangent—I bought the inexpensive computer, so my “good” laptop will not get damaged, or lose data by carrying it around, and working outside of my house. My “good” computer had to be repaired in the spring, and I was without a computer for two weeks. I felt helpless. So, to keep that from happening again, I got the cheapie. The thought for buying it, "if the 'cheap' laptop breaks then I won’t be out of luck"—tangent over.

Instead of being focused on my health. I was focused on getting to the store early, so I could have my laptop back early.

Nicole wearing the new jeans

I decided to buy some jeans and body lotion and body spray. That took me 3 hours. Seriously, shopping for clothing took a long time because I lost a lot of weight, and I was not sure of my size. I knew that I could fit into my old size eight, but not comfortably, so I figured I was about a ten. I fit the size ten, but some things were tight—not comfortable while things fit perfectly (note: Some clothes could have fit awkwardly because of my cycle). I decided that whether I was on my cycle or not I want to be comfortable at all times. Instead of going for beauty, I went for comfort in my clothing choices. So, I got all of my pants in a 12.

Going through this process of buying clothing did not leave me time to think of my food.

Plan for tomorrow is to eat lots of fruit. Start with a smoothie for breakfast and have as much fruit as I like.

The First Raw Day

2010-08-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

It’s August 21, 2010 the kick off date for my Raw Food Journey.

Last night, I decided to have a couple of glasses of wine, and it done me in. I have been 50% raw for a while, and last night proves that wine and raw foods do not mix. I started my journey with a headache. I wanted to eat some oatmeal, or some toast this morning, but I refrained. Instead, I ate a banana and had some tea with almond milk. The almond milk is store bought.

I was away from my desk yesterday and did not have the Declaration for My Life in front of me to remind me how I want my life to go. I need to reaffirm the words I wrote detailing how I want my life to go each day.

I started the day with a couple of bananas, some dates, and some watermelon juice. I fell pretty energized. I have to run some errands, so my first post will be short.

Watermelon Juice:

Place two cups of chopped watermelon in a blender with some ice and a little water then blend. It makes a nice refreshing drink. Blending is different from juicing because all I am consuming the whole watermelon—its flesh and juice.

Goodbye to Rice

2010-08-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

My Raw Food Journey Starts August 21, 2010

I am addicted to rice. Today, I ate rice. I rationalized eating it because there is not any fresh food in the house. I have not gone shopping to get my produce. I have to wait until tomorrow.

Now, I feel lethargic and tired. I feel full, and I need to take a nap. There is a constriction in my throat and heaviness in my chest and belly. The rice filled me all the way to my throat. I am yawning. My eyes are water. I cannot concentrate. I just want to lie down and take a nap.

Several times while writing this observation my mind spaced out. I caught myself with my fingers on the keyboard not moving, and my eyes just staring at the white screen with little black squiggles on it.

I know the lethargy is coming from my body having to process the rice. Before I ate rice, production was happening. My little office was busy, and my mind was buzzing. I did an excel tutorial. I wrote down ideas for videos, and ideas for blog post. I paid some bills. I went through the mail. I need sugars from fruit, and I do not need sugar from the starchy cooked foods.

Yesterday, I ate twice as much food, but it was fresh greens, fruits and vegetables. I even drank less water, and I was hyped all day. By the time bedtime came, I had the lights on, and I finished reading Dr. Doug Graham’s book, The 80/10/10 Diet (I'll write more about this book in later posts).

What I am learning is that I cannot eat cooked food in the middle of day or for that matter at all. It is dragging my system down. Cook food is causing me to expend a lot of my body’s energy just to digest it. This is energy I could use in different ways. I could have used this energy to send out more vibrations for my life intention. Instead, I am trying to keep my eyes open.
My Raw Food Journey Starts August 21, 2010

Preparation for Raw Vegan Lifestyle—Cleaning the Kitchen

2010-08-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

My Raw Food Journey Starts August 21, 2010

Today, I felt the need to clean my kitchen. I want to start fresh when Saturday August 21 comes. I thought it was going to be a five minute job. It took me an hour from beginning to end to clean the kitchen.

First, I started cleaning the refrigerator. I took all the food and condiments, except for those things in my brother’s meat draw, out of the refrigerator and set them on the counter and table, so that I could sort through them. I needed to decide which condiments I will keep. I kept all of my mustards even though they are not officially raw. I kept my soy sauce, flaxseed oil (I don’t know why I kept that because I used Flaxseed oil twice in a year), Srirachi, and the toasted sesame seed oil. I know the sesame seed oil is not raw; I will give it away because it’s a brand new bottle.

I took all the shelves and all the draws out of the refrigerator, even my brother’s meat draw. After emptying the refrigerator, I could see all the crumbs and little food particles stuck all over the interior of the refrigerator. I was grossed out. I thought all this crap has been in here with the food I’ve been putting in my body. I squirted the interior of the refrigerator with bleach and started scrubbing with soap and water until it was clean. Then, I scrubbed the shelves and my draw. I only cleaned the outside of my brother’s meat draw.

When the refrigerator and all its parts were clean, I put the parts back inside of it. The shelves went first. I made sure that the top shelf had enough space to fit a water jug. Then I put what produce I had, and the condiments I decided to keep.

Next, I throw out all the old condiments in the dumpster outside. Then I swept and hand mopped the floor. That is right. I got down on my hands and knees with a rag and cleaned every inch of the kitchen floor.

Now, I feel of sense of relief and satisfaction after cleaning the kitchen. I keep hearing in my mind, “Get ready, prepare yourself for change.”

My Raw Food Journey Starts August 21, 2010

Declaration For My Life

2010-08-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

This is the first post of my new blog, and with this post I am setting my intention. August 21, 2010, I will begin a new phase in my life. I want the gift of vitality--the gift of health. I am committing myself to a Raw Food Lifestyle. I am not saying diet because I truly believe the raw food is a lifestyle. I even give it an article because to me the raw food exists, and it lives to bring human-beings to consciousness.

My declaration taped on the wall

I went to Vital Life Foundation, and found this declaration for my life, which I will fill out for my first post. These are the questions that I meditated on before making my declaration:
1) How do I want to think? 2) How do I want to feel? 3) How do I want to believe? 4) How do I want to conduct myself? 5) What do I want to put into my body? 6) What is my purpose?

After I completed my declaration I taped it to the wall in the place where I will see it often.

DECLARATION FOR MY LIFE

This is a powerful tool for setting my intention and reminding me where I want my life to go.

I am

I am responsible for my life. I am here to live a happy and fulfilling life. I am connected to all living beings.

My guiding principle is compassion. I believe in ultimate good and kindness.

I am an educator. I am a teacher. I am a writer. I am here to live and be in the now. I think clearly with a loving heart.

My purpose is to love, nurture and help other beings using my gifts as an educator, a teacher, and a writer.

I trust the flow knowing that I am guided to the most compassionate and loving people, places, and actions.

I love and nurture myself, so I can love and nurture others.

I know nothing. I trust me. I have free will.

I am open to receiving the information the universe has for me. I am open to the highest potential the universe has for me.

I allow thoughts to float on the wind free of attachments.

I put only wholesome foods and beverages into my body.

I breathe deeply to live.